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Willem
Member
since 1999-11-18
Posts 139
Inverness, FL, USA

0 posted 1999-12-09 02:42 PM


Allow me to post this poem written by a
contemporary Indonesian poet. I have a
few more like this, though on different
subjects. Please let me know whether you
liked it.

MY COUNTRY
  
Were my chest to be cleft
all of my desire would be visible

mountains and valleys
trees skirting fields of rice
a footpath to the house
  
but an old city as well
with ramshackle houses
a sky burnt red
and jungles
with lost souls
reflected in
the shriek of a wounded deer as it runs
resounding even before it is voiced
  
if nature were not gathered in my breast
how could words rise as if from nothing
the hand would be empty when reaching
for the sky
  

by Subagio Sastrowardoyo


© Copyright 1999 Willem - All Rights Reserved
Brad
Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705
Jejudo, South Korea
1 posted 1999-12-09 07:55 PM


Did you do the translation? I very much enjoyed the first part of the poem and the sort of symbiosis of desire/nature.  My only complaint would be the 'lost souls' part which seems a bit too familiar to Western readers -- I would try to express that in some other way. The last stanza sort of stands apart from the rest; I suppose it's an attempt at unifying nature and the individual which, again, I think could be expressed in a different way.

Having done several translations myself (in Japanese -- not poetry -- and Korean -- one poem -- I know how difficult this is to do. I hope, for one, to see more of these.  Even with some of my complaints mentioned above, it does indeed capture a very different image than what you normally see in Western poetry.

Thank you,
Brad

Willem
Member
since 1999-11-18
Posts 139
Inverness, FL, USA
2 posted 1999-12-10 05:27 PM


Hi, Brad!  I'm glad you could appreciate
Subagio's poem. Unfortunately, I did not
translate it myself, but the author might
have done it, or even written it in English.
That would account for the Western tinge
you spotted.  I never met him, but found
this poem on a poetry webring a few years
ago. He might be an expatriate, probably
working in the UK or USA, going by the
somewhat nostalgic tone of his poem.

Most Indonesians, especially the rural ones,
are very close to nature, a remnant of the
old animist religions, before Islam came.
Having lived among them myself more than
half of my life, I share many of their
feelings, even as a Christian. And I love
their language, which I'm still studying.
Will post another one, from a different
poet, in a little while.  I hope you will
share some of those Japanese and Korean
poems with us here. I tried haiku a couple
of times, but found it too rigorous a style
to express myself in, though I like reading
them very much.
Regards,

Willem


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