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Critical Analysis #1
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citizenx
Member
since 2001-07-31
Posts 189
motorcade

0 posted 2001-08-02 04:47 PM


The sun shimmers off the sunroof
cars neatly packed in the Saharan lot,
I close my eyes, tripping through
its lanes of vehicles all burning
the light so focused
it is almost soluble.
Everywhere the summer shoppers
bustle in hives of activity.
One corner however,
remains dormant
light is impenetrable beyond its bead curtains.
The side door is left a jar for the faint of heart,
for those who wish not to advertise their cardinal appetite  

Skin magazines all peak in their shelves,
The firm filled leather trousers
of the female shop owner sleeks
in the darkness, whisperings its illicit promise.
Stepping to the beat of a silent climax,
I touched myself, fingers migrating
Sweat upon my brow. My parched tongue
Cries… for saliva from her drenched
mouth, feed me Aphrodite elixir.  

It is so hot in here,
on these city strip lights
illuminating enclosed societies,  
I scan the pages of tabloid soft core
promises, crawling across the underbelly
of young debauched Jordan.
I touched myself, rubbing my face
from its half stung daze
to gaze into her eyes in passing.

The sweetest pleasures never last as long as we desire.


© Copyright 2001 citizenx - All Rights Reserved
citizenx
Member
since 2001-07-31
Posts 189
motorcade
1 posted 2001-08-07 04:16 PM


I did a little editing to this one. WOuld really appreciate input into this.


--------------
Passage through Pornography


The sun shimmers off the car rooftops
all neatly packed in the Saharan lot,
Tripping through its lanes
of vehicles all burning.
Daylight so focused it is soluble.
Everywhere the summer
shoppers bustle in hives
of activity, One corner
however remains
dormant light is impenetrable beyond its bead curtains.

The firm filled leather trousers
of the female shop owner sleeks
in the darkness, whispering illicit bliss.
Skin magazines all peak in their shelves.
Stepping to the beat of a silent climax,
I touch myself, fingers migrating
from a sweat covered brow.
It is so hot in here.
Beneath the strip light,
my parched tongue cries
for an Aphrodite elixir
from her voluptuous lips.

It is so hot, under a strip light
illuminated society.  
I scan the pages of tabloid soft core
promises, read daily by all the family,
and I dream
I am crawling through the
seedy underbelly
of young debauched  Jordan.
I touch myself, rubbing my face
from its half stung daze,
to gaze upon her eyes in passing.  
The sweetest pleasures never last, as long as we desire.

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