While Walking In The Woods Alone

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Not A Poet
Member Elite

since 1999-11-03

Posts 3885
Oklahoma, USA

0 posted 1999-11-29 10:36 AM

Any comments on this effort would be most appreciated. Thanks. I have changed the title.

While Walking In The Woods Alone

There was a lovely flower that I met
While walking in the woods alone one day;
Such beauty had I never seen and yet
At first I could not find the words to say,
Or understand, my feelings or my smile,
But could not walk on by … I had to wait,
To look, and smell, and touch for just a while,
Although I knew my hour was growing late.

Its golden petals, curled and soft as down,
Were dancing in the breeze as fairies will,
And closer look revealed they somehow bound
The vision of a face, more lovely still,
With eyes of azure blue and hint of gray,
Created as my only sight to see --
By then I could not bear to look away,
That lovely flower had enchanted me.

I sat, admired, caressed and dreamed of it,
And wondered might there ever be some way
For me to know and love this wond'rous bit,
This lovely flower that I found that day,
To cherish it and press it in a book,
Or sit with it and talk of what we know,
Or smell its fragrance, hold it close and look --
But much too soon would come its time to go.

Then much to my surprise and pleasure too,
With gorgeous smile, my flower spoke to me
And said, "You are my dearest friend, it's true." --
My dearest wish was what this had to be.
While my enchanted eyes and ears, of course,
Were dreaming such a charming phrase I heard,
I searched with hopes to find that voice's source,
That lovely voice which spoke such lovely word.

But in that verdant wood there was no other,
No face, no body, soul, nor spirit found,
For everywhere I searched, I found none other
Who might have uttered such a lovely sound.
With that I must believe that it was she,
That lovely golden flower in the wood,
Whose gorgeous smile I saw -- who spoke to me
Those lovely words which made me feel so good.

Although I knew 'twas just a fool's illusion
To think or hope that she might care for me,
Her words and ways compounded my confusion,
And made me wonder what this charm could be;
Was she a flower, witch, or dream, this goddess,
Who caught my eye and stole my heart that day?
I search for answers still, but still it's hopeless --
That lovely flower since has gone away,
And nothing ever shall my grief allay.

------------------

[This message has been edited by Not A Poet (edited 03-10-2000).]

Kenneth Ray Taylor
Member

since 1999-11-11

Posts 139
Duluth, Minnesota, USA

1 posted 1999-11-29 02:01 PM

Beautiful poem. It flows nicely and its rhymes aren't forced. Your grammar is also good. (Too many poets ignore (or are ignorant of) grammar.) My only criticism is that your handle "Not A Poet" is entirely inappropriate; you defininately are a very good poet. I particularly liked the mechanics of these two lines:

Such beauty had I never seen and yet At first I could not find the words to say,

I like the way you ended a line with a rhyme that was in the middle of a sentence. It helps the flow and keeps it interesting.

Not A Poet
Member Elite

since 1999-11-03

Posts 3885
Oklahoma, USA

2 posted 1999-11-29 03:12 PM

Thank you so much, Kenneth, for your comments. But I must say you are much too kind and generous

I couldn't agree with you more, however, on the need for proper, or at least acceptable, grammar. As for the pen name, well, what can I say?

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