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Critical Analysis #1
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In Living
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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In Living |
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jamaicabradley Junior Member
since 1999-11-04
Posts 39 |
Through lost thought through lost energy Down the Hudson here she comes, she's a visionary of my light and ever after in my nights come slowly I have lost love I have lost love If this won't kill me nothing will and lost in the interum your cold your blue don't know your eyes except when I look in the child's and they are not my own not even genetic replicas and there you are lost in her and there you are cold blue in the parking lot and I don't know you I've lost love. |
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| © Copyright 1999 jamaicabradley - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
Jamaica - I'm getting to appreciate this type of verse more and more, but I do seem to need to read it awhile before having the courage to comment in depth - give me a day or two. Even I can see the depth of feeling in it on a first reading ... thanks. Philip |
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roxane Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 505us |
this is so sad.  but well written. i like the repetition a lot. i think that it adds to the poem. the only part that confuses me is the part about the genetic replicas. are you speaking about a child of the one you love? forgive my stupidity, but please enlighten me. |
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jamaicabradley Junior Member
since 1999-11-04
Posts 39 |
roxane, thank you for the nice comment, and yes the genetic replica is the child or the child's eyes rather that don't seem to resemble the one parent's but the other parent, the blue cold parent, okay, the other party in the poem who is obviously bad and void of any emotion concerning the situation...again thank you, I just wrote this one off on the computer and wasn't sure how it would work, but thought I would submit it anyway. |
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jamaicabradley Junior Member
since 1999-11-04
Posts 39 |
sorry Roxane, I just read your comment again and see that I havn't answered your question exactly. Allow me to rephrase the comment... ...yes, I am speaking about the child of the one I love... |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
Well Jamaica I've spent the last few days thinking what I can say about this. It is so far from the type of poetry that was forced into me at school (a long time ago lol) that I find it difficult to relate to it in a detailed way. In other words (cutting the "politician speak") I haven't a clue how to critique it !! All I can say is that it flows, it reads well and like Roxane I think the repetition adds to the atmosphere. Not only does it assist the flow but it really brings out the wistful longing of the speaker. This is further emphasised by the frequent use of the word "lost" which occurs no less than seven times. Were you aware you were doing that? I enjoyed it .. thanks Philip |
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