as yet untitled (suggestions?)

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Critical Analysis #1

as yet untitled (suggestions?)

captaincargo
Member

since 1999-11-25

Posts 109
Corning, N.Y. U.S.A.

0 posted 1999-11-26 12:54 PM

You who sit so high, on your perch, away, aloof, unassailable.
Impotent powers that rail and tear at my world, seeking to humble and silence my cry.
Refusing to bow to the ultimate and accept my dread love. I invade your heart and shred your will to resist.
No, hate will not save you, nor pity.
I rule with iron and all must obey and submit their treaty to my unremitting and veratrine palm.
You are mine, now and ever.

captaincargo
Member

since 1999-11-25

Posts 109
Corning, N.Y. U.S.A.

1 posted 1999-11-26 03:26 PM

Oh well, back to the drawing board.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

2 posted 1999-11-26 04:53 PM

I have some ideas for a title. As I was reading I started thinking about control and possessiveness. So I found the words "obey and submit" within your poem and I also would recommend "total control". Many people spend too much time trying to control others lives and not enough time controlling their own. I realize that I may be on the wrong track because I looked up the word veratrine and it indicates a confirmation of truth. Take your time to find a title because there is no rush required and you are the only one that knows the final answer. James

captaincargo
Member

since 1999-11-25

Posts 109
Corning, N.Y. U.S.A.

3 posted 1999-11-26 08:59 PM

James, thanks. I was thinking of calling it Reaper.

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