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Critical Analysis #1
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jbouder
Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534
Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash

0 posted 1999-11-17 05:40 PM


The tempest rages.
A careless eye sees chaos,
The astute, order.

------------------
Jim

"If I rest, I rust." -Martin Luther


© Copyright 1999 Jim Bouder - All Rights Reserved
Marq
Member
since 1999-10-18
Posts 222

1 posted 1999-11-17 07:20 PM


Order from chaos! I like this haiku!
Brad
Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705
Jejudo, South Korea
2 posted 1999-11-22 04:09 AM


Jim,
I'm not being critical here. I think the poem sounds great and it does bring an image to my eye.

But,
Well, sorry but every time I see the word 'order' I think of Darth Vader shaking his fist at Luke saying, "Together, we can defeat the emperor and bring order to the galaxy!"


Brad

jbouder
Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534
Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash
3 posted 1999-11-22 11:49 AM


Darth Vader? Really? Cool!

------------------
Jim

"If I rest, I rust." -Martin Luther


hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
4 posted 1999-11-22 02:26 PM


Jim,
As you know, I think this is a good Haiku, but it also happens to be the third forum I've seen it in. We do try to limit multiple postings between different forums and I ask for you help in keeping to our guidlines.
Thank you,
Ruth

Willem
Member
since 1999-11-18
Posts 139
Inverness, FL, USA
5 posted 1999-11-23 12:21 PM


Nice juxtaposition of the unscientific
mind's apprehensions and the calm and
calculating approach of a meteorologist.
However, can a haiku contain verbs? I
thought it is supposed to present a static
picture, hence no verbs. Correct me if I'm
wrong. I love this form of poetry but have
never tried to write it myself.

Willem

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