Poem: Laughter and Emptiness

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Critical Analysis #1

Poem: Laughter and Emptiness

Eaglesoul
New Member

since 1999-11-17

Posts 3
Atlanta, TX, USA

0 posted 1999-11-17 11:28 AM

I hear laughter in the distance,
happy and joyful,
yet I cannot share the joy.

I hear laughter in the distance,
but my heart is too bruised from being used,
my heart is too empty for happiness to thrive, happiness I once knew has taken a dive, a dive to empty sorrow and depression,
oh how true do they leave their impression,
upon a once happy soul.

I hear laughter in the distance,
but it's only in my head,
for happiness is seldom seen within,
this man now before you, his eyes red with tears, a life mislead by those who spoke ill words and fled, a life unsaid to those who rejected friendship,
a life unknown to those who judged unfairly,
a heart torn apart by so many so cold,
so many who pretended to be my friend only to leave me standing there,
many tears have I shed.

Lonliness and emptiness tear at my heart and run through it,
burning with the ferocity of fire as it sears the most inner part of me,
one would hope the tears would help mend what was once a happy heart,
but that is a lost part of who I used to be.

I hear laughter in the distance,
but at once I solemnly believe,
that it is echoing deep into my soul,
only mocking me and the dead feelings as cold as snow.

I hear laughter in the distance,
as suddenly I'm filled with hope,
Hope comes in friendship,
hope comes in love,
hope comes in acceptance,
hope comes in the love of another,
the love of a woman,
hope comes from my grasping hands,
which hold firmly to my inner self,
as who I was sits as idle,
as a book on a bookshelf.

I hear laughter in the distance,
as once again I reach out,
trying to understand just what caused this emotional drought, I strive to regain, to get up and shed the pain, day by day I find I am more able to pick up the pieces, the pieces of the insanely large puzzle of who I used to be, I hope one day I am able to yet again become who I once was earlier in existance, as I hear laughter in the distance.

------------------
-Eaglesoul

roxane
Senior Member

since 1999-09-02

Posts 505
us

1 posted 1999-11-17 05:03 PM

there are a few spelling errors and a few trite similies (cold as snow), but i otherwise think that it is a great piece. personally, i prefer poetry that is more concise, but as your words don't dull in the middle, i see no problem with it.

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