Dom/sub relationship - pipTalk Forums

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Critical Analysis #1

Dom/sub relationship

CCat
New Member

since 1999-11-15

Posts 5
Eugene, OR

0 posted 1999-11-15 08:16 PM

Hummingbird Submission

A confederacy to establish bouquet as a verb,
Armed with pollen's animus and perfume's appeal,
Filling the air with their arrousal and gossip,
Amorously conjure the visit of their seraph.

Innocently presenting a strategic contrivance
With redolent whiffs of kaleidoscopic arrays
And harmonizing hues of wide grinning intrigue,
They transport enthrallment with radiating joy.

Dreaming the arrival of the kiss of life's renewal,
Scheming the transformation of time's dimension,
Seducing principled ambition with enchantment,
Joy's uxorious sweetheart is lured by universal Beauty.

Approaching with grace's animated serenity,
Humming a vibration that rouses the flowing juices,
Potpourris of medicinal brew and seed genesis,
He stops to hover motionlessly with compliant humility.

Bowing low to graciously offer the vassalage
While shielding passion's exigent arousal,
Reverent homage and adoration floats forward
Awarding benefaction's caress with fealty.

Tactfully offering osculation with suave chivalry,
A furtive satyrical endeavor to imbibe ambrosia,
Our hero nurtures synthesis and unity while
Drinking deeply the succulent nectar with felicity.

roxane
Senior Member

since 1999-09-02

Posts 505
us

1 posted 1999-11-16 04:30 PM

personally this poem seemed a little too pedantic to me. there were so many words that didn't so much describe the scene, emotions, or characters, but rather, confused the reader. i think this one may be also aptly titled "i love my thesaurus". i have a great respect for your extensive vocabulary, though.

[This message has been edited by roxane (edited 11-16-1999).]

Poertree
Senior Member

since 1999-11-05

Posts 1359
UK

2 posted 1999-11-17 06:19 PM

I agree with Roxane, the vocabulary is truly amazing .. which for me was the problem, I was totally swamped by it. So much effort to assimilate all the unfamiliar words that the flow and rhythm was somewhat lost - a very unusual piece tho.

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