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Passion's Healing
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Passion's Healing |
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DramaMama Junior Member
since 1999-10-28
Posts 47Louisiana |
Passion’s Healing wrapped in gossamer dreams flowing as I come to your bed light playing around my limbs as you watch wonderingly my bare feet skimming the floor dancing to rhythms in my head I whirl to the urgent melody as you smile indulgently a quiet certainty wells up as starlight catches my intent bending my will to yours as you reach insistently my fingers slide into your hand its roughness melting into velvet touching my being with your own as you caress tenderly we merge with shadows of a past time removed from our synergy a lesson born of desire as you tutor patiently remnants of long-hidden passion sewn together with loving thread spread out the quilt of care as you mend intimately passion generates release emotionless no longer warming the unresponsive heart and you weep, finally @ 1999 Pat Hornsby Crochet |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Wow, you got some great words and lines in this one, don't think I could have pulled this off like you did. "wrapped in gossamer dreams " that paints a very nice image, the soft shadowy dream world I like how the final word in all the stanzas...wonderingly, indulgently , insistently, tenderly, patiently, intimately and finally pull everything together. I like "synergy" a great deal too. My favorite poortion of everything though has to be "remnants of long-hidden passion sewn together with loving thread spread out the quilt of care as you mend intimately" I really like the symbolism you use here. I don't know if I can criticize anything in this piece as I truly enjoyed it  Ruth ------------------ Alis volat propriis (She flies with her own wings) |
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DramaMama Junior Member
since 1999-10-28
Posts 47Louisiana |
Thanks, Ruth. Hmmm, one reply. Wondering if no one else read it... |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
Pat (Hope Pat is right .. it's so much shorter than DramaMama .. lol), you were right I missed it. Now I've read it to start with I thought it was a fairly straightforward and beautifully written poem about a healing (not a physical healing of course) brought about by a surrender to passionate lovemaking. I kind of assumed it was the "I" in the poem (a woman?) who needed healing, then I read it again and thought that maybe the process was mutual, and then eventually the last line caught my attention "and you weep, finally" ....... Not "we" weep or "I" weep but "YOU" weep. So then I thought that it was the subject (man?) who needed the healing. However reading over again this didn't sit too well with the line "as you tutor patiently" or even "as you mend intimately", although in the latter quote it could work. I'm still confused about that point - maybe you could explain. I loved the textile metaphor which runs through the poem like a repairing thread right from the start ... "gossamer", "velvet", "sewn", "remnants", "quilt", "mend". Also I assume that (despite the confusion in my mind about the healing point above) the poem is basically about two people previously deeply in love who lost their way and are now finding it again? The lines "we merge with shadows of a past time ..." and "remnants of a long-hidden passion" both seem to suggest a previous relationship buried and now retrieved. I have to admit though I have not yet got the hang of easily interpreting verse without punctuation or capitalisation, so the stanza "we merge with shadows of a past time removed from our synergy a lesson born of desire as you tutor patiently" still holds a lot of mystery for me! Lol. Do I, for instance read it with a break after "past" or after "time" or after neither of them? If you have time to explain that stanza I would be grateful. Anyway I am probably way off beam on all the above and, if so, please ignore me . Meantime I thought the imagery and metaphors were quite beautiful, thank you.Philip |
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DramaMama Junior Member
since 1999-10-28
Posts 47Louisiana |
Philip, Thanks for the detailed reply and the questions. And yes, Pat is the name. You are correct on several counts. Both thought that passion and love was behind them, but they found each other, and in loving, healed. The "he" is more experienced, hence, the tutor, but had become cold, unable to express feelings. "She" re-awakened those emotions in him, and at last he is able to cry...and show all the emotions by his tears. She is healed also by the passion, abandoning her inhibitions to the gossamer dance. BTW, the healing references that could apply to both...they do. As to the lack of punctuation, I like to leave most of it out, letting the images flow unimpeded. The stanza you pointed out could be read either way, but the pause would be better after past. Also, in this poem, there is only one mark of punctuation...the comma in the last line. That's the only place I really wanted the reader to pull up and stop. Thanks for noticing the fabric images. Actually, the use of those particular words was totally unconscious. They just seemed right as I was writing them. Pat |
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