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Remember that
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Remember that |
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misterpoet Junior Member
since 1999-10-26
Posts 18 |
Remember that At this point Together reached Where it’s painful To say goodbye But even harder To stay If you remember One thing After I leave Don’t waste it on flowers… Remember that I loved you. Not sure if This is it Or if we’ll make circle Ending in each other’s arms Again But separation Has been calling Long time now And finally we hear whispers And take heed If you remember One thing After we split Don’t waste it on fireplaces… Remember that I loved you. As we depart To find ourselves Like we should have Done before Unknowing if when we emerge Compatibilities will still fit And friendship will find us Or if heartdreams still long for happy yesterdays If I never see you again And you remember One thing Don’t waste it on tears… Remember that I loved you… I always will. --- 11.02.99 |
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| © Copyright 1999 misterpoet - All Rights Reserved | |||
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Mister poet... I like the flow in this one and the sentiments behind the words. I would offer up one suggestion though, to me the way each stanza ends is a bit confusing...pehaps something like this instead: If you remember Only one thing After we split Don’t let it be fireplaces… Remember that I loved you. If I never see you again And you remember Only one thing Don’t let it be tears… Remember that I loved you… [This message has been edited by hoot_owl_rn (edited 11-02-1999).] |
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misterpoet Junior Member
since 1999-10-26
Posts 18 |
Thanks Ruth! the suggested change makes it more impactful. thanks for taking the time to type a response. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Your quite welcome mister and nice poem by the way  Ruth |
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