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Holding Back
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Holding Back |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA 
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Holding Back I will never again give myself wholly to another even as I lay, languishing in your arms our bodies still damp with sweat naked, as the sun rises in the red morning sky part of me will always hold back Yes, those three words may pass my lips like the sighs that passed over them moments and hours before when I cried out your name in ecstasy and I may even mean what I say, when I say them but there will be a part of me holding back for to give you all of me would be to lose a part of myself Yes, perhaps someday as we drink tequila on a sandy beach in Mexico, watching the sky turn from blue to orange beneath the setting sun I will tell you all of this and more and maybe I will be surprised to find that you too are holding back As we reach the bottom of the bottle drinking to where only the worm remains when everything we've wanted to say, has been said 'till we've convinced ourselves as well as each other that we have nothing to lose by holding back maybe, just maybe, it won't be so hard to swallow ------------------ This is courage...to bear unflinchingly what heaven sends. ~Eurpides |
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| © Copyright 1999 Ruth Kephart - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
Alright, you're going to have to help me here. The worm, as I recall, is not in any old tequila bottle but in the Mezcal bottle (dim memories from my tequila years). By the way, never had the guts to swallow it. I'm a gin and scotch fan anyway. I think your use of colors here truly enhances the effect of the poem. I could see the different shades cover the couple. Enjoyed that tremendously. Also thought the shift at the end was very well done. For anybody else who reads this, this kind of movement or shift in any poem (some people call it the epiphany) is very important -- and not just to me. There are possible danger signs in the drinking that you didn't touch on. What happens in the morning? Are you going to regret? Depends on the feeling at the beginning of course (which seems to be one of hesitation. See what I'm trying to get at?). Don't know if I would have been able to let the 'double play' on swallow go as beautifully as you've done here. Well done. What started out as a stereotypical declaration poem (I must be me.) was finished very nicely. Thanks, Brad |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Brad, Although I feel this poem really doesn't need an explanation, I will touch on one thing since you pointed it out. /"There are possible danger signs in the drinking that you didn't touch on. What happens in the morning? Are you going to regret? Depends on the feeling at the beginning of course (which seems to be one of hesitation. See what I'm trying to get at?)."/ This poem is about a couple in a relationship already, not a one night stand started in a drunken bliss. It has to do with trusting again, with feeling confidant enough with yourself and your partner to give everything, to not hold back. Making yourself an open book to someone is not always an easy thing to do. Holding back is a self protective measure. Only in giving ourselves in entirety though can we love completely. "'till we've convinced ourselves as well as each other that we have nothing to lose by holding back" Ah, but indeed they have everything to lose by holding back don't they? As for tequila...laughs, I'm no expert as I've never in my life drank it, but I'm told the tequila in old Mexico still contains the worm. I really appreciate your comments on this one. I'm glad you caught the double play on swallow in the end and I'm glad it pulled off as good as my intentions were on it. Once again. Thank you. Ruth |
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Iloveit Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 1121NM |
well with the above 2 posts, I think pretty much all has been covered, but I did like it, and yes understood it but still enjoyed the discussion on it  I like this hoot |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
Ruth, gotta question for you: 'lie' is intransitive and 'lay' is transitive so shouldn't it be "as I lie, languishing in your arms". That seems pretty simple but then what do you do with "As I Lay Dieing" by Faulkner. Am I missing something? Hmmmmm, we'll have to wait and see what other people say about the poem but I was led astray with the second line 'wholy to another' which led me to think this was a new relationship. It still works but I wonder what other people think? Brad |
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Iloveit Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 1121NM |
ok, I can see what brad means, if you read it with that thought in mind the first two stanzas does make it seem like its a new relationship and "yes perhaps someday" when they are more comfortable, she and he will be able to give all, but it is too soon right now.... funny how poems can be interpreted differently with just a little twist of perspective... |
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