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Don't Mind If I DO
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Don't Mind If I DO |
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merlynh Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 411deer park, wa |
Don't Mind If I Do Well slicken my whistle and give me one. Scoot on over, sit it right down. Where you come from, pretty little one. Don't walk on by. Get on over. I'm the one... Well I'm the cutest, he don't know. He ain't worth nothing, less-in I say so. What I got is special, too... Just not for anyone. Gota be handsome. A Lonesome one. Well come on over. Don't mine if I do. Just sit right down, let us have one. Oh, you handsome dude Oh boy, I think I'm the one. What he don't know I'm an ornery one. © 1999 Merlyn Hearn |
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| © Copyright 1999 merlynh - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
I like the switch in speakers and enjoy a lot of the dialect (wish you had done more with that actually). Have some problems with some of the spelling here and there (but whose to say how you spell this?). Why 'mine' and not 'mind' in the last stanza? All in all, I enjoyed reading this. Brad |
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Systematic Decay Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1301That place with padded walls and funny people in white......... |
I too liked this one, however I got confused as to who was speaking-perhaps if you put each person change is a new set of qoutation marks? ------------------ Thinking is just what a great many people think they are doing when they are merely rearranging their predjudices. |
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Iloveit Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 1121NM |
yep me too, the switch of persons was a little confusing, but the overall punch of the poem was great  |
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