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Critical Analysis #1
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donovan blue
Junior Member
since 1999-09-21
Posts 26
austin,tx,usa

0 posted 1999-10-28 05:56 PM


the emptiness in his eyes -
beautiful in tranquility.
why do we worry ourselves so?
in every breath the divine leaps forth,
fire and fuel,
eternally burning...

I, too, am guilty.
these miracles escape my recognition
more often than not.
But once in a while
everything falls away
and I am filled,
my humble vessel spilling over...

these eyes which fear,
this heart that thirsts...

All the while the stillness,
the peace,
is staring right back at you...

-----------------------
Thanks to the film "American Beauty" for reminding me that life IS beautiful.
donovan

© Copyright 1999 donovan blue - All Rights Reserved
Iloveit
Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 1121
NM
1 posted 1999-10-28 06:01 PM


donovan, explain this a bit please, I think I like it, but am a little lost and do not remember the film to relate the poem to it...
jenni
Member
since 1999-09-11
Posts 478
Washington D.C.
2 posted 1999-10-28 08:11 PM


donovan--

didn't see the movie, but liked your poem here! especially the line "i, too, am guilty"... refreshing to hear. the only misstep i thought was the use of the phrase "humble vessel;" for some reason i just think it rings a false note, perhaps because at the start of that verse, you are already (and quite effectively) SHOWING us humility; there's no need to tell us, too, that you are a "humble vessel." just my opinion.

once again, though, you've written quite a beautiful piece. very nice work!

[This message has been edited by jenni (edited 10-28-1999).]

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