Overall, I think this is pretty good, but might read better without the structure- even if you kept the wording the same, you could change line breaks. There would still be rhyme, but it would be a little less obvious, and content wouldn't take a backseat to the format.
'Before she cried, before I knew she knew
She could begin to grasp the world, I saw
Her dark round eyes explore the room, a few
non-views perhaps -- a lip, a nose or jaw.'
Read as is, it's the natural tendancy to stop at the end of the line, so it sounds a little stilted, but at least it still makes sense. However:
'In an unrealized web, dynamic force
Must have inserted knowledge modern thought
Can not describe for when she let the course
Of vision pause, they rested on what I sought'
This is really runonish. LikeIfeellikeI'msupposedtoreaditallinonebreathlikethis. The wording makes it seem very complicated, almost sci-fi- unrealized web? dynamic force? It sounds like startrek or something to me... too hokey. I had to re-read it 3 or 4 times just to see where you were coming from, and I also had to force myself to read it as if it were one linear sentence as opposed to iambs and line breaks so i could absorb it better. Also, I feel like there should be a period or something at the end, because it leaves me dangling, and I didn't know if the next line was a continuation or a new thought when I first read it.
'Without the knowledge reason should have given,
I fought between fair fear and fear of fate,'
I like this but I'm not sure what the difference between fair fear and fear of fate are... wouldn't it be a fair fear of fate? If not, what is the fair fear?
'Between a scream of joy or fear of hidden
nueroses I could not emasculate.'
I actually really like these lines, i think they are the strongest in the poem.
'After she cried, I knew what all men knew --A first child brings out a fantastic view.'
I also like the ending lines. Overall, I think this is good, there was just the one set I had the problem with... I would maybe either revise this into a non-sonnet, or try to clarify the lines in question...
You are more than the sum of what you consume
Desire is not an occupation