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Critical Analysis #1
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Artur Hawkwing
Member
since 1999-06-30
Posts 444
USA

0 posted 1999-10-08 05:45 AM


Words are like tempests

Do I not know life nor do I know me,
the most despicable human being
that has forgotten love so dear, so brazen-
o' give me your honor, dear heaven.

That day my memory welled up and spilled
like one who saw the sun rise for the first time;
my love, death incarnate I am,
as I died a long time ago, yet I live.

My words flow bittersweet with life's tears
for long is the road, fell are my eyes
hard like the sea, and fey with accursed sadness
my cries echo the perils of the nine hells.

Like tempests, my words strike at my heart,
o why? why death, why strike me?
I am mortal, let me live, or ye shall die, Death,
for I vanquish Death. I am Death Incarnate.

Of the wrong thing I speak, my love,
life is so confusing, help me find my strength,
I am lost forever in this world,
lost forever in my sea of bitter, silent tears.

Can you not tell the tears are crimson?
I looked for you this day, my forever friend,
for you had said you'd never die,
my forever friend, why did you have to die?

The years roll past in my ever-yearning thoughts,
of paradise lost, I dream forever,
the glorious blazing of the sun around me
as the tears are forgotten, now and eternally.

Like the tempest my thoughts whirl furiously
with power, with terror, with death,
help me, what is in my head?
For I love not me, yet once I did.

Then they swerve and roar with such catastrophe
I am stunned, as invisible love hammers back,
what is this, a colossal battle of death versus love?
Speak not of silence, speak of the ocean waves roaring.

I am the collector of memories,
the old becomes me, and the now becomes old,
endeared into me is every last memory
as my day withers and becomes old.

Love is a twilight, a forgetting yet a remembering,
do you not remember me, my love, as I once said:

quote:
This summer day
we suffered sunburn and laughed
as the waters shone bright,
and forever my thoughts frozen--


My words break, and dissolve away forever,
and my soul tears are heard no more.

© Copyright 1999 Artur Hawkwing - All Rights Reserved
merlynh
Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 411
deer park, wa
1 posted 1999-10-10 12:47 PM


Amazing! I just posted something along the same lines just yesterday. But you did it in more deepth. Perhaps Brad was right about the imagery. You definitely have more development. I guess there is someone else out there that has thought of his writing and morals. And why souldn't we?

I just perceive God as an untouchable being yet so close. This poem really made me look at my soul and it's connection with the Lord.

Nice work. It made me think. It did it's job.

Merlyn

Artur Hawkwing
Member
since 1999-06-30
Posts 444
USA
2 posted 1999-10-11 01:16 AM


Meryln- It means a bunch hearing this. I wrote this on the state of confusion that I feel in life sometimes, and I let my thoughts zigzag. In the line about the "forever friend", I attribute that metaphor to two things. Sometimes it would be God, who's forever my friend. Other times, I use that as an ironic example of a friend that you think will be your friend but in the end you find that they no longer really treat you as a friend.

The second paragraph I agree to, Merlyn. It sure makes me think about life in a different way.

I am sorry if this sounded a little bit unspecific but that was part of the purpose!

merlynh
Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 411
deer park, wa
3 posted 1999-10-12 01:27 PM


Artur did you read my piece "We Who Create?"

Thanks for your reply and words.

Artur Hawkwing
Member
since 1999-06-30
Posts 444
USA
4 posted 1999-10-12 02:26 PM


Nope I haven't yet! I will be sure to check it out, but today I have a ton of homework so I can't reply until maybe tomorrow.

Perhaps I will do a quick reply tonight. Gotta go, thanks for the replies!

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