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Thoughts on an Open door
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Thoughts on an Open door |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California 
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From the open door the last trace of summer is the garden hose snaking between knee height dandelions and sweet peas gone to seed, air, tinged with the scent of gasoline and flowers, leaves, dancing down the street with a wily breeze as Crows mark the minutes, timed to an intimate knowledge of some unfathomable clock. While the door is open you can let in the magic maps of imagination, browse in lines of words, wonder if the melodrama is a footstep's crunch away from becoming ordinary, or a taping foot and dog's bark away from balancing the straight back of self assurance and the gentle slope of being content, with the churning of doubt and the longing to change. While the door is open you can wait for a poem to enter (as Summer necks openly with Fall) whose meaning cannot be thoughtlessly introduced into a conversation or nonchalantly thrown in hopes that the retriever can make its meaning clear, or you can close this last vestige of summer door, and catch the poem waiting effortlessly on your shoulder, with the patina of humanity dulling its brilliance, winking one mischievous eye. |
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| © Copyright 1999 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
Great first stanza. However, I wonder if you might condense the open door stuff into just one stanza and separate the closed door stuff into its own stanza. I think it would have more impact on the reader. Don't know about 'knee height dandelion' -- pretty big dandelions if you ask me and maybe change it to 'knee high' unless I'm missing something there. Good job, Brad |
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