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Critical Analysis #1
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California

0 posted 1999-09-28 05:58 PM


His eyes light up
the rhythm already pulsing,
fingering the black disk
like a broken woman
yearning for home.

The needle is like the arm of time
gently drilling life
into the minutes
of a melody
orchestrating
the poetic nebula
of life.

I see the rhythm
picked up
as the White Birch
plays with the wind
out the window and
the Chinese Lantern Tree
swings hula hips on
the dance floor
of the lawn.

The heart is the listener
that turns the volume up until
the cloisonn' twitters
and the sound
pierces the heart,
ripples through pools
somewhere inside the soul
then sighs a conclusion
into stillness.

If I loved the sound before
I love it more
because of him.

© Copyright 1999 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
Systematic Decay
Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1301
That place with padded walls and funny people in white.........
1 posted 1999-09-29 01:15 AM


Well I was p[leasantly suprised at the end. To be honest, until then I thought this was going to be one of those poems with nothing but imagery. But could you explain the first 2 stanzas to me? I didn't understand them. Thanks.

------------------
"Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage."
-Billy Corgan-

Iloveit
Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 1121
NM
2 posted 1999-09-29 12:31 PM


well I agree with SD, the title and the last verse tie this together, but I didn't really understand the imagery in the middle, can you explain it a bit more?
Iloveit
Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 1121
NM
3 posted 1999-09-29 02:47 PM


I thought as much, but thanks confirming and for explaining some of the images
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