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Critical Analysis #1
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Lelly Shae
Junior Member
since 1999-09-20
Posts 32


0 posted 1999-09-21 04:16 PM


There,now its better...

THE SABLE STALLIONS

i gaze with my frosty eyes across the daintily sugared plains

and see a fleet of raven horses,no longer captive in their reins.

their tails ripple and whip in the bitter,bitter wind

their muscles clench and twitch,dance beneath their skin.

I hear their feet roar like thunder against the snow-white winter fields

and flakes flit up from the ground from beneath their spastic heels.

Their such intricate creatures,black,like the center of the night

coated in constellations with a brilliant,starry white.

it bleeds through their form,this freedom with which their born,

they have genuine euphoria,their never morose or forlorn

With this,I stop to wonder,with great sadness in my veins

of being that raven horse breaking free from his reins

flying out into the air,his feet barely on the ground

being without any care and not hearing a single sound.

Still,I watch from my perch as another snowstorm begins

and the horses are still running,undaunted by the wind.

------------------
"Time flies like an arrow,fruit flies like
a banana"--Groucho Marx

(ha ha)




[This message has been edited by Lelly Shae (edited 09-23-1999).]

© Copyright 1999 Lelly Shae - All Rights Reserved
Echo Rhayne
Senior Member
since 1999-09-17
Posts 1495
Canyon Country, CA
1 posted 1999-09-21 04:34 PM


That was beautiful...and not only because I love horses lol. Enough description that I could actually picture the scene, but not so much that it bored me...I like it!
Lelly Shae
Junior Member
since 1999-09-20
Posts 32

2 posted 1999-09-21 07:38 PM


Thank you But,I am revising it,I wasn't
happy with it so I will post the FINAL
product tongight...it will be even better

------------------
"Time flies like an arrow,fruit flies like
an arrow"--Groucho Marx

(ha ha)


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