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Critical Analysis #1
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roxane
Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 505
us

0 posted 1999-09-17 03:49 PM


My kiss, the abyss
The lost bet
Oh my sour kiss
The bitter lips
Pucker in a scowl
All the damned
Arrive for it
When you fail the test
Beware my loving kiss
Fear it as though it was death
And just as cold and cruel

------------------
"Come night, come darkness, for you cannot come too soon or stay too long in such a place as this." Charles Dickens


roxane



[This message has been edited by roxane (edited 09-17-99).]

© Copyright 1999 roxane - All Rights Reserved
rachana.s
Member
since 1999-09-16
Posts 55
madras,tamil nadu,India
1 posted 1999-09-18 12:44 PM


For a moment, at first I was lost, but the last four lines - i liked those last four lines. they had impact.

Still could you work on that starting a little bit. The picture only becomes clear as you come down. May be a description on the test could have helped?(only my opinion)

rachi


Brad
Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705
Jejudo, South Korea
2 posted 1999-09-20 08:51 PM


The only thing I dislike about this poem is the title. It reminds me of Tom Jones and Prince. Everything else works very well. You've created quite the 'allure of evil','love of danger' thing in this one.
Normally, I rail on the lack of detail or context in poems but here I think it actually adds to the poem. It adds to the mystery here.

Good job!
Brad

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