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Critical Analysis #1

This is me here

rachana.s
Member

since 1999-09-16

Posts 55
madras,tamil nadu,India

0 posted 1999-09-16 04:21 AM

Very Confident, I believed you were mine,
Very sure, so much, that I was blind:
To your betrayal; your faults;
Even when love had made a halt.

What changes did I make for you,
My whole life a dance to your tune.
Every string that held my heart -
Tied up in knots so thin and fine.

Why did I never realize,
That every smile of yours had a price?
That every time you said I’d win,
You’d push the knife an inch more in.

Is this your love for me?
Not much more than a fantasy.
Don’t you know that I too feel?
Was it not enough that I did kneel?

But then have you ever been true?
You don’t love; you just duel.
And now that you have no one,
You’d like me to be your fun.

Sorry. I am different now.
I have no more need to bow.
I know, with life, how I am to deal,
For, off you, I am so free.

HCwildchild
Member

since 1999-09-03

Posts 55
Pennsylvania,USA

1 posted 1999-09-20 02:52 PM

I really liked the way you expressed yourself in this poem, it clearly shows how you are feeling. I also liked the words you used, I could pick it apart and say this didn't rhyme here etc, but poems don't have to rhyme anyway, and it is how you are feeling, and you can express that any way you want, there is no right or wrong (as far as I'm concerned). This was well done, keep up the good work

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Heather C.

rachana.s
Member

since 1999-09-16

Posts 55
madras,tamil nadu,India

2 posted 1999-09-22 05:46 AM

thanks heather. this poem was actually written for my friend. Her boyfriend had been playing arround and she was in quiet a state. Some how I guess that angered me and I wanted her to react the way I said in the poem. That is the reason this was more an expression of thoughts than anything else.

rachi

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