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Secrets-an attempt at a sestina
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Secrets-an attempt at a sestina |
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DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
Deep within my heart I hold few secrets. Those I have I cherish too much to tell. I have two that simply gnaw at my soul. I've tried forgetting them in every way. Both are reasons for me writing so Dark. Writing verse is my escape from the pain. It seems the best way to write is from pain. Perhaps that is why I hold my secrets. Maybe that's why I hold on to the Dark. What drew me to evil I just can't tell. I know others follow a different way. I can't face the light just to save my soul. I am resigned to being an old soul. It helps me cope when I share a friend's pain. Most don't understand why I am this way. I can't respond and still hold my secrets. My story though they will want me to tell. All this interest makes me long for the Dark. Every life begins and ends in the Dark. The lack of light comforts my tortured soul. That fact is something I can choose to tell. It is one truth that causes me no pain. My heart is maimed by some of my secrets. Lies hurt me in exactly the same way. I wonder if others have felt this way. I'm not lonely just alone in the Dark. Such is the price paid for keeping secrets. I long to confide in a single soul. Doing so would only cause me more pain. I could never trust the one I chose to tell. There are many friends I would like to tell. My fears seem to always get in the way. I truly want a release from my pain. That is why my poetry is so Dark. It bares to the world my tormented soul. Verse lessens the burden of my secrets. I can't really tell how I found the Dark. I have found a way to brighten my soul. I embrace the pain caused by my secrets. ©1999 DreamEvil ------------------ Shall I indulge in flights of fancy hampered by clipped wings? DreamEvil© [This message has been edited by DreamEvil (edited 08-20-99).] |
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| © Copyright 1999 DreamEvil - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
Well, I tried to post this before but got kicked off the internet. I don't know if it made it but so if you get two posts for the price of one, don't blame me blame the demons of technology. I have the utmost respect for anyone who even tries these things (I never have) so I'm not going to nitpick. I don't write from pain but find endless fascination in ambiguity. I think it's really interesting that most situations can be seen as both bad or good, right or wrong depending on your point of view. I know a lot people do write from pain but, to be honest, it just confuses me a bit. Still, I enjoyed and respect this work. Brad |
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DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
Thank you much.  ------------------ Shall I indulge in flights of fancy hampered by clipped wings? DreamEvil© |
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pen of passion Member
since 1999-08-11
Posts 234 |
The last line confuses me. You embrace the pain caused by your secrets, yet writing verse is your escape from pain, so is that the reason you embrace pain i.e. to write? |
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DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
Pen of Passion, Exactly so. |
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pen of passion Member
since 1999-08-11
Posts 234 |
Ok, but here's one more line that confuses me: I could never trust the one I chose to tell. Most tell secrets to people they trust. So are you saying afterwards you couldn't trust them, and if yes, why? If you don't want to answer that, that's ok. The poetry form looks great to me. There is one nit-picky thing that jumps out at me: the fifth line, first stanza, I think a possessive pronoun go before a gerund; i.e. my writing. I could be mistaken. |
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DreamEvil Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 2396 |
Write I do in form mixed up, yes. To other say I, self mine will I true remain. ------------------ Shall I indulge in flights of fancy hampered by clipped wings? DreamEvil© |
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TheCandyMan_1 Junior Member
since 1999-08-28
Posts 38NY |
DreamEvil- I could never write a sestina..just amazing. Wow ------------------ JA.Malone -x--------->o<---------x- "Biting my truant pen, beating myself for spite - "Fool!" said my Muse to me "look in thy heart, and write!" - Sir Philip Sidney |
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