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Critical Analysis #1
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Missed_fantasy
Junior Member
since 1999-08-16
Posts 16
Mankato, MN, USA

0 posted 1999-08-16 02:22 PM


Wednesday

Do you hear what I mean
I speak through my actions
What is life? What is love?
When will my turn come?
I'm floating in a limbo
Surcease a dream won't grasp
Can't write fast enough
Can't think hard enough
Head hurts, hate the music
Sun is too bright outside
too dull inside
Where should I belong?
What can I do with myself?
Why do I want to cry?
Why do I stop the tears?
Why can't I stay interested
in life, in love, in work
I push away my loved ones
To regret our parting
Get mad so fast, can't help it
I sit here on a Wednesday
Not so different from
all other days I've lived
We name them to tell them apart
from the other identical days.


------------------
Love always and blessed be my children

© Copyright 1999 Missed_fantasy - All Rights Reserved
mister61
Junior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 41
bergen county, nj
1 posted 1999-08-16 05:37 PM


Very expressive; you described powerful feelings maybe a little too clearly for comfort, actually. One small critique: the pace seems a bit rushed. Then again, that might be intentional. I like this very much, overal.
Skyfyre
Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906
Sitting in Michael's Lap
2 posted 1999-08-21 10:49 AM


This piece stays very true to its title ... it does capture a sampling of thoughts ...

I loved the line "we name them to tell them apart" ... how true ... well written.

------------------
"Nunc lento sonitu dicunt, morierus"
(When I hear the bell tolling softly for another, it says to me, "Thou must die.")


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