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Critical Analysis #1
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PartiStarks
Junior Member
since 1999-07-31
Posts 38
Brooklyn, NY

0 posted 1999-08-04 01:19 PM


Who is responsible for the breeze we receive?
& Who is responsible for the leaves on the trees?

What mystical, magical things that he brings
& What beautiful flowers & birds that sing

Where is the genius, who created this land?
& Where does he live, is he a mortal? A man?

When the sun is shining, does it mean he's smiling?
& When it's raining, does it mean he's crying?

Why do I ponder about what is untold?
& Why should I worry about what is unknown?

How do I refrain this from boggling my mind?
& How do I explain all the wonders I find?

(I am a new writer open for suggestions)

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[This message has been edited by PartiStarks (edited 08-06-99).]

© Copyright 1999 PartiStarks - All Rights Reserved
Slim Shady
Junior Member
since 1999-08-03
Posts 32
Phoenix, AZ, USA
1 posted 1999-08-04 01:32 PM


Good spiritual poem. Work on the "when" par a little more, so it flows with the rest of the poem.

------------------
"That's Rock Bottom
When this life makes you mad enough to kill...
That's Rock Bottom
When you want something bad enough you'll steal...
That's Rock Bottom
When you feel you have had it up to here
Cause you mad enough to scream but you sad enough to tear"

Words by the Slim Shady


PartiStarks
Junior Member
since 1999-07-31
Posts 38
Brooklyn, NY
2 posted 1999-08-06 05:24 PM


Slim Shady, thanks.

[This message has been edited by PartiStarks (edited 08-06-99).]

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navwin » Archives » Critical Analysis #1 » Who? What? Where? When? Why? & How?

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