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Critical Analysis #1
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PartiStarks
Junior Member
since 1999-07-31
Posts 38
Brooklyn, NY

0 posted 1999-08-03 01:00 PM


Hey, blue eyes, why do you cry?

Such exotic eyes, as enchanting as the deep blue sea
But they are hidden behind sorrow & grief

Hey, blue eyes, why do you sigh?

Beautiful alluring eyes, how unfortunate that you're so down
Then you disclose that your blue eyes are naturally brown

(I am a new writer and I am open for suggestions. Please give me your opinion about the poem and what the poem means to you. Thanks)


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© Copyright 1999 PartiStarks - All Rights Reserved
Alain DeLaCendres
Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 119
Ohio
1 posted 1999-08-03 05:50 PM


Well, I am partial to poems good poems about eyes..eyes hold a mystery all their own for me, and I love to unravel it.
You have a good build up here I thought, the last line was totally unexpected (which is good), and kind of ironic too...
I like this, but I'm sorry, I have no suggestion for changes for you..I like it the way it is..I'll read it a few more times for you, and see if I come up with anything.

P.S. Why is it that most poems about eyes are about blue eyes, not brown or green ones? Even the two I wrote were about blue eyes...Hhhm...

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Tout s'en va, tout passe, l'eau coule, et le couer oublie.

[This message has been edited by Alain DeLaCendres (edited 08-03-99).]

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