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Critical Analysis #1
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

0 posted 1999-08-01 09:14 PM


It always takes two for a rendezvous
That will sustain a lifetime through.

It always takes two for a tête à tête
To last forever once you've met.

It always takes two ~ an addend to sum
To live as one all days to come.

It always takes two for a complement ~
A perfect balance never spent.

It always takes two for a tandem ride
Life's obstacles met side by side.

It always takes two to say, "Yes, I Do
Forever want to be with You."




© Copyright 1999 Nancy Ness - All Rights Reserved
Alicat
Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094
Coastal Texas
1 posted 1999-08-03 05:34 PM


I likes it, and found no problems save a niggling thingy. In the fifth homostrophic verse, "Life's" could be read hard (giving 5 beats) or soft (giving 4). But, other than that small wossname, it is wonderful.

One other minor thing. Most of the couplets are complimentary. But I always thought tandem bikes were front and back, not side by side. "Oh, for a bicycle built for two..."

Alicat



[This message has been edited by Alicat (edited 08-03-99).]

JP
Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343
Loomis, CA
2 posted 1999-08-04 10:27 AM


Good thing I know how to pronounce tete a tete or the whole poem would've been wasted...

Glad to see some verse coming from your direction.

------------------
Dum spiro, spero
JP



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