Self-fulfilling Prophesies

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Critical Analysis #1

Self-fulfilling Prophesies

Kilgore
New Member

since 1999-08-03

Posts 5
West Union, West Virginia, United States

0 posted 2001-07-19 10:23 PM

I feel such negative things toward myself
surely you feel them too
and you must see my character flaws exactly as I do
I always assume your pointing out to me
what I already know is true
And I attack you for these perceived attacks upon by character
by lashing out at you

this is why we argue
because you feel just the way I do

your always uncovering
my perceived weaknesses
and using them to inflict pain
simply to achieve your own point of view

But maybe I don’t see you
the way that you perceive me too
maybe what you consider flaws
is what I find so beautiful in you

Maybe we argue because I’m doing actually what you do
sensing my own inadequacies
and projecting them on you

Instead of just believing
what we sense the other
feels is true
Maybe we should ask
and listen

Perhaps what’s destroying us?
is not what we feel about each other
but rather our own negative point of views

maybe I’m the only one who perceives me the way I do
and I make myself my own worst enemy
because I'm projecting all that negativity
and directing it at you

Maybe love is discovering
that others don't feel something about us
just because we do

Please Visit Kilgore‘s Open Poetry Forum

Janette

Member Elite

since 2001-07-20

Posts 2843
Chicagoland for now

1 posted 2001-07-20 02:16 AM

I could definitely feel the emotions you stress in this poem. The stress and hurt feelings....my heart reaches out to you in compassion. The premise of this poem is moving.

You might want to work on the amount of words you use ... sometimes "less" says more.

I know this was possibly an oversight...but please....there is a difference in the words...your and you are
In the fourth line...your = you are or you're
Tenth line...your = you are or you're

Also...I am confused about your punctuation in the following line:
"Perhaps what's destroying us?"
The question mark placed there is not necessary.

I look forward to reading your edited verson...this one has great potential...thanks for sharing it with us.

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