»
Archives
»
Critical Analysis #1
»
Aurora
| Critical Analysis #1 |
|
Aurora |
|
|
TheGreenPolarBear Junior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 38Kansas |
This is a very long one that I wrote about 6 months ago. I feel like it could be improved, but it's been a while since I wrote it and I kinda feel like if I revised it on my own I'd change my original intent of the poem. On that note, I'd like to see what other people say so I can have a better idea of where it should go. Thanks Aurora The interstellar aurora has faded away, taking with it all of the colors and feelings of the world, as if they've simply vanished into a black abyss sitting outside of our event horizon, waiting for someone to remember how to work the overdrive. The madness begins to set in, laughing at failed attempts to win the ongoing war between the ever present idealists and the self-proclaimed oppressors who search for more ways to keep our apple and orange oriented thoughts from reviving the burnt out candle that died with such a howl of defeat and agony so many years ago. The dark backstreet alleys of San Francisco are crowded with so many refugees from the revolution, searching for one more way to get that wonderfully numb feeling they've grown addicted to. The number of beds holding lost souls grows larger, each one a memorial for those who tried and failed. Gone, too far beyond the line to ever return, who can manage to drag them back from beyond the horizon, so that they're no longer living on the wrong side of the shore, so that their attempts won't fade away into the mists of time? The religious mother earth patriarchal hypocrites strive to teach their atomic bomb numbness techniques to the many who still belive their self-created heterosexual tendencies are only tricks of a futily sarcastic mind, but they fail to take into account the return of an old foe. Revived from the depths of time, the works of the original masters are returned to the light so that their hallucinogenic visions, which might rip away the numbness's grip, can be taught to a new generation that comes from the same angles, and thus understands. But under the benches and in the corners, the trash that everyone creates but refuses to destroy gathers, waiting for the moment when its coma induced intelligence will awaken and all will know the pains of being swept under the rug. Electro-shock therapy is the choice of the insanely sane patients for their revenge upon a family who prosecuted and persecuted because the ink blot was a communist, not an owl and an effective method it is, jolting the life back into a world devoid of motivation or feeling. Neurons fire again, thoughts return, but still the numbness won't recede, no amount of shock can make it release its death grip from the staggered and weary society it now rules. It seems as if the colors we all once knew and worshipped have been ripped away from us and replaced by some psychedelic mixture of hate, pain, and sorrow, but one day, it's known that they will return. And as a new foothold is gained, the wait begins. Now all that's left is for one person to finally remember how to kick in the overdrive so that the interstellar aurora will return and burn away the numbness with all the colors and feelings that it wields. The Green Polar Bear  |
||
| © Copyright 1999 TheGreenPolarBear - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Nectar Junior Member
since 1999-06-09
Posts 18Pensacola, Florida |
I enjoyed reading this poem. A fan of Faulkner, I love stream of consciousness style writing, but even more so when the writer brings it full circle or comes to some sort of conclusion. I especially enjoyed the phrases "insanely sane" and "prosecuted and persecuted". The only thing I would work on is the flow. The poem seems to flow so well readers could get lost somewhere in the middle and only realize that at the end. Thank you for posting! |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||