»
Archives
»
Critical Analysis #1
»
Through my mother's eyes
| Critical Analysis #1 |
|
Through my mother's eyes |
|
|
redwriter1 Member
since 1999-07-22
Posts 480Franklin, TN 
|
(written when I was 15, my first actual finished piece of anything, but I still like it, tell me if you think I should make it into a song).. thanks Through my mother's eyes were ween the days of Christmas's gone by When all her children came in haste to gather by her side No tree this year my little ones she would apologize Though we all hoped it wasn't true Your mother doesn't lie Through my mother's eyes was see a tree with Christmas lights so bright But it would need a little help to make it look just right It's not much, she said, but it will do We'll have a Christmas tree And it will be the best of all You just wait and see It was oddly shaped and very small but beautiful indeed Even thought our Christmas tree was just a tumble weed Though time went by and years between I still recall the sighs When we all saw a Christmas tree Through my mother's eyes. ------------------ Kay-lynn |
||
| © Copyright 1999 redwriter1 - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Cobra Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 58 |
Personally, I found this to be an enjoyable poem. When there is conversation though, it would be nice if you put in some quotation marks. I think you can make this into a good song with a personal holiday day touch.  ------------------ Cammie |
||
|
redwriter1 Member
since 1999-07-22
Posts 480Franklin, TN |
quotation marks?.. mm. never even occured to me.. sorry.. (smile). |
||
|
ShellBelle Junior Member
since 1999-08-06
Posts 11 |
That's really sweet. Showing the different perspectives nearly brings a tear to my eye. I certainly wouldn't turn the dial if that started playing on my radio...la la la la la. |
||
|
redwriter1 Member
since 1999-07-22
Posts 480Franklin, TN |
thank you Shelle, I'm glad I didn't throw this one away (smile) |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||