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Morphine Dreams
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Morphine Dreams |
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VelvetLuna Junior Member
since 1999-07-22
Posts 10Canada |
Upon the wings of madness, slipping between the cracks of morbid dreams, with mystery, spinning eyes possessed by midnight darkness. Left awake by the velvet moon, an angel bleeds with tearless cries, unraveling loneliness, twisted by reality. Like the image of an innocent slaughtered, battered torn from piercing thorns, expressing a fiery, vacant stare. Lost forever, captured within death's overpowering silence. |
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| © Copyright 1999 VelvetLuna - All Rights Reserved | |||
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elvira Senior Member
since 1999-07-06
Posts 936California |
perhaps someone who writes free verse can comment on this?  |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I am not good a free verse but I do know that you have great imagery working here! |
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JP Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343Loomis, CA |
Imagery was wonderful, depth of thought and originality of description was excellent. Flow was the only real problem I had with it. I read it aloud and thought a slight restructure might slow the pace, add a bit of somberness to the work - this is only a suggestion: Upon the wings of madness, slipping between the cracks of morbid dreams, with mystery, spinning eyes possessed by midnight darkness. Left awake by the velvet moon, an angel bleeds with tearless cries, unraveling loneliness, twisted by reality. Like the image of an innocent, slaughtered, battered, torn, from piercing thorns, expressing a fiery, vacant stare. Lost forever, captured within death's overpowering silence. ------------------ Dum spiro, spero JP |
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