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Kind Sir
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Kind Sir |
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Saxoness
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102Texas 
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NIGHT MAGIC WHEN ALL THE STARS COME OUT TONIGHT, ARTIMIS SHINE YOUR MOONGLOW LIGHT. LET THE NIGHT CREATURES SOUND THEIR CALL, HARK YE EARTH SPIRITS, COME ONE AND ALL. LET THE DARK FLOWERS PERFUME THE AIR, COME FORTH SWEET MAIDENS, BOTH DARK AND FAIR. OVER THE SEA THE WINDS SHALL DANCE, WHILE WHISPERING WILLOWS BEGIN TO ENTRANCE. HAUNTING MELODIES CREEP OVER THE GROUND, SO OVERPOWERING, YET MAKING NO SOUND. SYMPHONIES LIFT FROM THE MIDNIGHT AIR, TEMPTING YOUR SENSES, CALLING YOU THERE. THE MISTRESS OF NIGHT SHALL CLOAK YOUR FEARS, SINIGING SO SWEETLY OF LONG AGO YEARS SHE'LL TAKE YOU BACK TO ZEUS' DOMAIN, WHERE SLY PUCK MAKES MISCHIEF, AND SOOTHES AWAY PAIN. MYTHS APPEAR FROM OUT OF SWEET DREAMS, WHERE NYMPHS ARE FROLICKING NEAR SHIMMERING STREAMS. OUT FROM YOUR FANTASIES PEGASUS FLIES, SPREADING HIS WINGS OVER STAR DUSTED SKIES. SOFTLY AND GENTLY, THE PRESENT INVADES, QUIETLY YOUR VISION BLURS, AND THEN FADES. SOON DAYLIGHT WILL AWAKE WITH TENDERT FILLED EYES, BRINGING BRIGHT COLORS TO SLUMBERING SKIES. THEN, THE STARS WILL BE GATHERED AND ALL PUT AWAY, WAITING IN SILENCE UNTIL THE END OF THE DAY. AN AGE OLD TRADITION WILL BEGIN TO TAKE PLACE, AS MOONGLOW AND DAYLIGHT PARTAKE IN THEIR RACE. THEN WHEN THE SUN TRIUMPHS AND SHINES DOWN HIS GLORY, A NEW PAGE WILL BEGIN IN THIS, NATURES STORY. AS THE MISTS ROLL, AND SWIRL, AND FADE, A MAGICAL AURA THIS NIGHT WILL HAVE MADE. WHEN THE DAY COMES AND ENDS THE NIGHT, DO NOT FORGET THIS MAGICAL SIGHT. ~ ANGELA ERIN BURKE ~ ------------------ "Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me." -Charles Brugnot |
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| © Copyright 1999 Angela Erin Burke - All Rights Reserved | |||
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M. Rivera Junior Member
since 1999-07-22
Posts 13San Francisco |
Wow girl! You have deep talent! I love your style! M.Rivera |
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Saxoness
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102Texas |
Why thank you! I'm very pleased w/ this one. ------------------ "Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me." -Charles Brugnot |
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JP Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343Loomis, CA |
I like what you've done here. Get rid of the 'all caps' and perhaps put your lines together (sort of a flow thing...) Let your punctuation guide the rythym of the piece. These are just suggestions of course... P.S. I would like to see you write some free verse. I see something in your writing that is crying for release from structure. Hit us with something fabulous! ------------------ Dum spiro, spero JP |
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Saxoness
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102Texas |
Yes, you are right, the all caps was a mistake, but I had to make the font so little in word, that putting it in small case would have given the reader a headache. I forgot, that the page stretches here. My fault. As for putting the lines together, I was going for a certain beat. Almost like a chant, and putting the lines together would have disrupted that. :-) ------------------ "Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me." -Charles Brugnot |
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PartiStarks Junior Member
since 1999-07-31
Posts 38Brooklyn, NY |
Beautiful and very creative. Keep up the good work. ------------------ |
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