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Ohme
Senior Member

since 1999-07-17

Posts 816
Texas

0 posted 1999-07-18 01:05 AM

In the midst of such a storm each wave cried out dispair.
He would turn aside but in the dark he knew not where.
All about was emptyness, survival almost gone,
replaced by devistation and no reason to go on.
Then somewhere above the shore there came a silver light
urging him to grab an oar and not give up the fight.

Turn the boat about and ride the crest of every wave.
You still have the strength to live, reject the waters grave.
Trust me I am on the shore, for I am not a star.
Turn the boat about or you will founder where you are.
Follow me the flicker said, and with the morning tide
you will find there is no wave on which you can not ride.

Then the seaman raised his head and searched the blackened sky.
There was naught to guide him to the shore though he would try.
Encouraged by the glimmer of the light he saw afar
he turned the boat about in the direction of the star.
Muscles trembled with each stroke. He labored through the night
using all the stringth he had he rowed benieth the light.

When the morning came there was a boat cast on the shore.
Beaten by the rocks and shattered, it would sail no more.
Here there was no lighthouse and no beacon would be found.
There were only craggy rocks protruding from the ground.
If the seaman died to live again in our reflection,
and here there is no lighthouse, how'd he know the right direction.

[This message has been edited by Ohme (edited 07-18-99).]

[This message has been edited by Ohme (edited 07-19-99).]

elvira
Senior Member

since 1999-07-06

Posts 936
California

1 posted 1999-08-04 02:32 PM

Ohme, how brave you are to post a poem in this forum, i hope you take my advice, for what it's worth...the meter is a bit irregular and you may want to check your spelling...other than that, i enjoyed this poem very much, a lovely tale of soul searching

Ohme
Senior Member

since 1999-07-17

Posts 816
Texas

2 posted 1999-08-04 10:14 PM

Thanks elvira. Do be more specific. Is there a way to spell check while posting??

I did invite critique and that was exactly what I was looking for.

I was not satisfied with the last two lines. were you concerned about any other lines??

How else do we refine our talent if we refuse critique from others??

Thanks for the comment.

Sue
Member

since 1999-08-04

Posts 383
France

3 posted 1999-08-05 09:44 AM

To spell check your posting you can write the poem in any word processor, run a spell check, and then just copy and paste into the post box.

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