Untitled #24 - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Critical Analysis #1

Untitled #24

lenny
Member

since 1999-07-11

Posts 63
front royal, va. u.s.a.

0 posted 1999-07-16 11:27 AM

Today free verse is all the rage
And I, too, like it fine
But in the poem that is my life
I want my words to rhyme.
With His who has created me
A bard more great than I
Whose rhyme and meter know no flaw
Whose theme is always high.
For each of us is but a line
In His great epic poem
So intricately all arranged
No line need stand alone.
Each stanza smoothly flows to next
In verse uncircumscribed
On parchment of eternity
With His name, all, inscribed.

------------------
lenny

doreen peri
Member Elite

since 1999-05-25

Posts 3812
Virginia

1 posted 1999-07-16 05:26 PM

Beautiful! Excellent! I don't have any suggestions EXCEPT.... give it a title... if only to get someone's attention to read it. I found when I title a poem "untitled", I get very few responses in these forums. (Of course, LOL, I get very few responses sometimes even when I give it a title). Somebody mentioned that the title of the work brings them in to read it, though.

What a wonderful analogy.... "For each of us is but a line/In His great epic poem".... I *love* that! You are a talented human being and He is very proud of you, I'm sure, for praising His name.

Keep writing and posting. I'll look forward to more.

Ohme
Senior Member

since 1999-07-17

Posts 816
Texas

2 posted 1999-07-18 02:03 AM

I agree Lenny. This is too good to have no title. It needs a name.

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.