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Naked Hands
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Naked Hands |
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orpheus Junior Member
since 1999-07-10
Posts 30Portugal |
I suppose who is and has been Has already seen felt The hands full And the full hands becoming empty Naked at the cold Because when we hold grab Too tight Something precious We suffocate The smiles and the kisses We die a little And we don't even cry The little lost piece of soul Forgotten (You don't cry what you forget) I have had my hands full And I have had them full of nothing |
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| © Copyright 1999 orpheus - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Alain DeLaCendres Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 119Ohio |
Perfect flow of words orpheus. The poem is great. My only suggestion involves the last two lines..They are great, and I like them. But they seem as if they could be part of a different poem. They make sense with the poem, but I don't know they just seem a little..out of place I suppose. Maybe inserting them somewhere in the rest of the poem...I think maybe they could make a poem all their own.. Just my thoughts, my friend, take them as you will. Let me know your views on this if you would please.. ------------------ Tout s'en va, tout passe, l'eau coule, et le couer oublie. |
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orpheus Junior Member
since 1999-07-10
Posts 30Portugal |
First I thank you so for letting yourself open to my poem. Then I thank you even more for your thoughts. I understand those two last lines may seem out of place. But you know, that's the idea. In fact they're not the end but the real beginning of this poem which expresses my feel of loss of something special. They resume everything. I guess it may seem a contradiction but I decided to put them at the end so you could all get involved and just then receive the final answer. And once again thank you. You're always welcome. |
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Alain DeLaCendres Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 119Ohio |
I read your reply, then read the poem a few more times again. And I think I understand what you where trying to say.. The last two lines kind of show what it's like at the "new beginning" if you will. You've lost something, and the last two lines are kind of showing how you felt after losing the "something special". That may have been a terrible explaination of what I meant (in fact, I'm quite sure that it was) but I do understnad..Thank you much, I found the poem even more interesting now...... ------------------ Tout s'en va, tout passe, l'eau coule, et le couer oublie. |
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