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Critical Analysis #1
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fjones
Member
since 1999-06-07
Posts 98
MS

0 posted 1999-07-13 08:57 AM


To their parent’s dismay--
The girls are too young to know better—
I am too old to care.
Thus when we’re together—
We do what we dare.

Faye Jones

© Copyright 1999 fjones - All Rights Reserved
Daniel2
Junior Member
since 1999-07-13
Posts 28
Waterloo, Ontario, Canada
1 posted 1999-07-13 09:15 AM


A disturbing image. I'm reminded of a Gordon Lightfoot song:
Sundown, you better beware
If I find you've been creeping up my back stair
I can see her there in a satin dress
In the room where you do what you don't confess

Red Letter
Member
since 1999-05-24
Posts 85
Allentown, PA
2 posted 1999-07-16 08:00 PM


I'm confused as to how the subject fits into the action of the two girls...

You say that you are "too old to care" but still young enough to take part in whatever it is the girls are doing which leads me to believe you are maybe a babysitter of some sort... (am I way off here?)

Otherwise, without a little further "explanation" of sorts, this is kind of disturbing...

Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-05-19
Posts 8669
Michigan, US
3 posted 1999-07-16 10:04 PM


I'm a bit surprised by the responses to this one. Maybe only another grandparent can recognize this Truth? Faye, you have taken the cliche of spoiling our grandchildren and given it both rhyme and reason!

My only "critical" response would be that I wish it had been genderless (my own grandchildren are boys), and I suspect it would have been more readily understood had that been the case.

fjones
Member
since 1999-06-07
Posts 98
MS
4 posted 1999-07-16 10:40 PM


This proves to me my short little verses can be misunderstood when read by people
who do not know me.
Ron is correct in his interpretation—I am a grandmother to 3 beautiful girls and
When we get together we eat ice cream, stay up late, sleep late, cook gooey stuff
finger paint, and sometimes loose all our manners.
We go to bed without a bath and all this dismays their parents!

Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
5 posted 1999-07-16 10:41 PM


What a wonderful grandma you must be! My own kids say when they have children, I'll never get to have them on my own...I'll teach them bad things like how to talk to bees and how to make funny faces at people in passing cars and how to make mud pies - in the kitchen!

Daniel2
Junior Member
since 1999-07-13
Posts 28
Waterloo, Ontario, Canada
6 posted 1999-07-17 10:06 AM


Boy, was I off the mark! Perhaps a title like "Grandma" might have clued me in. It could have been fun to include the splattered paint and the skipped baths in the poem as well, allowing me to enjoy the innocent naughtiness of this poem without imagining deep and darks. Thanks for the poem. It is delightful now that I'm tuned in.
fjones
Member
since 1999-06-07
Posts 98
MS
7 posted 1999-07-17 10:19 AM


Well I thought the title Bonding made the understanding easer. That's what people do when Bonding, forming close relationships,
spending quality time and having fun!

Red Letter
Member
since 1999-05-24
Posts 85
Allentown, PA
8 posted 1999-07-17 10:50 AM


Geez! Don't I feel ignorant! hehehe

Thanks for the enlightenment on this one... For some reason, the idea of you being the grandmother never even came to mind... Oh well, perhaps when I have them myself (guess I've gotta have children of my own first though, eh?), I'll truly understand

Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-05-19
Posts 8669
Michigan, US
9 posted 1999-07-18 06:45 AM


"This proves to me my short little verses can be misunderstood when read by people who do not know me."

Hehe. I guess that means Faye and I are old friends (which really only means I quickly devour anything she is kind enough to send to Passions - and you really do learn a lot about people through their poetry).

But I actually don't think the exact relationship between the child and elder is important to the poem. It's the Truth it embodies. That's what I meant when I said she had "taken the cliche of spoiling our grandchildren and given it both rhyme and reason!"

What the parent often calls spoiling is really just a different set of priorities. I think, as we grow older, we learn that many of the things we thought important when we were young parents are really just silly little rules (often made to make the parent's life manageable). We realize there is nothing more important than making a child feel loved - and fully, completely enjoying the love that is returned. Sometimes, I think only the very young and the very old really know how to play. (And before I get a deluge of email, I'm not suggesting that rules aren't important. Making good rules and sticking by them is a very important way of saying "I love you.")

Oh, and Poet deVine - I don't make funny faces at people in passing cars (in California, they shoot at you for doing things like that) and I don't make mud pies in the kitchen (or anything else in the kitchen, for that matter). But I would love to learn how to talk to bees. Wasps, too. How do you say, "The flowers are over there, guys, would you please get the hell out of my car!"



Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
10 posted 1999-07-18 10:34 AM


Ron, to talk to bees you just need to know a few 'buzz' words!

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