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soul drifter
Senior Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 711
Colorado

0 posted 2020-03-19 11:13 PM


I very much apologize in advance for the considerable length of this, but I couldn't stop till it was all out. A story more than a simple poem.
__________


Sylvia & Anne

I am forty years, eight months and five days old
the same blood I have in me from the womb
pumped by the same heart
this my engine and this, my frame
sculpted slowly, softly by time
everything in me says I am alive
alive
alive
I roll the word around my tongue for a moment
and think on my favorite poets,
so alike in many ways
both women
both mothers and wives
both brilliant with their hearts plugged into their typewriters and pens
both dead

Gone
long gone but pieces of them still cling
like two leaves the color of blood
in a November tree
both women dead by their own choosing
and I cannot help but wonder
about the moment when their choice was all there was left
I wonder did any thought of their children grip them
before the final act did their innocence and beauty
strike them like a match
whatever they thought, the flame was extinguished
and nothing could stop them
nothing ever could
in the last fleeting seconds all was silence
and death, as he always will, closed in

Oh death, a face I was unfamiliar with
just another blur in the street crowd
but he’s been following us all
no matter how long we live
how far we go
one summer night
just a heartbeat ago
he came ‘round to the house
and the distant voice on the phone
said my mother had ceased to be
it was but half a heartbeat ago
almost nine years now as I sit and write this
and like all dead she left us here
clearing away the cobwebs on memories
the sunlit days emptied of barest thought
while under all these many layers of me
I ride upon the violent white rapids of emotion  
all of this and more whispers unreal truth
into my still young and not yet ready ears
I am alive
she is not
you and you and you and I and the sun and millions of unknown people
and hell, even the world itself  
are still very much alive
but she, at last, is nothing but
gone

There are so many who’ve passed
and many more will
including me
but for now
it’s winter
I walk amid the ruins of the day
white and grey is all there is
and these boney fingered trees
they reach out hungrily for my hair and flesh
and a bitter blue winter snaps at my heels
as ever I carry my worries like precious children
around the weary daily circle of my life
I am alone
but oh I am not with you
ghostly poets
in fact I will see many more dawns than either of you
did either of you know the glow of first sunlight on your face
by your scribblings if you ever did, you forgot
a shame, I think, shaking your hands off my shoulder

I am a solitary man, a poem growing like a bloom
from my heart, head and hands
it’s all about where I am and where I may be going
I have hopes and plans and dreams
the dead just have death
but me I am ever curious to see where the day may take me.

"Life is for the living. Death is for the dead. Let life be like music. And death a note unsaid.-Langston Hughes

© Copyright 2020 Zach Hilgefort - All Rights Reserved
BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
1 posted 2020-03-22 10:48 PM


Dear soul  drifter, your poem is beautiful and your ending warms my heart.
Life is for the living, indeed.   Be well good poet.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2020-04-02 07:26 AM


Zach, more like a ballad. You've made it a good day to read some poetry. Thank you!
Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
3 posted 2020-05-28 08:02 AM


I have never been able to capture this subject. This shows how the dead haunt our thoughts and then shows our will to go on living.
There are just too many great images to quote here. Enjoyed.



"Maybe that's the way I should go
Straight into the mouth of the unknown"

Shinedown

Paul Wilson
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711
United States
4 posted 2020-05-28 11:56 PM


Soul Drifter...A story of living, dying, laughter and crying we all should read and address in life before it's too late.
Enjoyed thanks for sharing...Paul

~~To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you~~
Paul

Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
5 posted 2020-05-29 02:07 PM


This was beautiful..well, as beautiful as a writing on death can be I guess.  

"The dead just have death"

I'm not sure I can buy into that.  Not gonna get philosophical on you, don't worry, but will just say I see death as the end of my life-sentence.  After which, no matter what happens, i will be free.      Just my own selfish perspective I'm sure.

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