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Open Poetry #50
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Kellie_Cantrell
Senior Member
since 2002-05-22
Posts 1667
New York

0 posted 2018-07-08 02:09 AM


Silence has held me down for so long,
forgot what it is like to be strong.
I walked away so many moons ago,
  happier now that I have had a chance to grow.

Why do things take so much time to heal,
   all these emotions that I have had to feel.
Over you for so long,
but the nightmares still come strong.

Guilty of running away,
but I could not stay another day.
Love does not abuse,
for what you've done there is no excuse.

Walking away,
was the best thing I've done.
Walking away,
was the hardest thing I've done.

Healing is a choice,
  I am just trying to finding my voice.
Will not be silenced again,
  now that I've filled my pen.
This poem is about the feelings I have had about my not so recent breakup. A few years ago, I found out something very disturbing in a relationship I was in for 8 years. Within a week of finding out what he had done, I moved 2500 miles and started a new life, as far from my old one that I could get. This journey has not been easy, and in the 3 years it has been, I have not been able to write. I finally sat myself down, and worked through the feelings I had that kept me from wanting to write and voice my experience, and I hope that it begins the healing process. I am over the relationship, and I have moved on, but the damage the abuse in the relationship has held a strong grasp on me, and I still have a lot of work to do to learn to trust in people again.


  

© Copyright 2018 Kellie M. Cantrell - All Rights Reserved
Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
1 posted 2018-07-08 06:39 AM


Bless your heart, you are off to a good start!
I can relate to abuse and starting over and trying to heal. Writing does help! Don't get too hung up on trying to make it all rhyme. Just get it out on paper. You can grow from this and in turn be an understanding ear and voice to others of abuse. I look forward to reading more from you. ~L

Kellie_Cantrell
Senior Member
since 2002-05-22
Posts 1667
New York
2 posted 2018-07-08 12:54 PM


Thank you Lori!
2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea
3 posted 2018-07-08 04:54 PM


hello, kellie, this is very moving, writing for healing is not and easy thing, i read your words here, with a lot of humility,

have a nice day

yann

Paul Wilson
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711
United States
4 posted 2018-07-08 10:29 PM


Kellie...Bravo to you for being strong and for finding yourself again. I am so glad to see you writing again, because I always enjoy reading your poems.
I went thru a 4-5 year stretch when I could hardly write my name much less poetry, so keep up the positive attitude and always write your heart. It's sad but sorrow has always helped me write, so write it out and the best to you...Paul

~~To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you~~
Paul

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

5 posted 2018-07-10 10:06 AM


I'm so glad you left a very unhealthy relationship.  Please be very careful you do not make the same mistake again...it seems we often times are drawn to people we don't deserve, so I respectfully suggest, find out why you chose someone you didn't deserve...learn to live on your own and not depend on anyone...and next time, chose a mate for all the right reason...you don't have to be a couple to be successful...you don't need anyone to take care of you, and you don't want someone who doesn't support you in every aspect of your dreams....even if it means you going on and leaving him behind...love encourages, it doesn't cage.  

Don't blame him, he did the very best he could do, with the tools he had...which wasn't very much, more so, feel sorry for him, but learn, why it was you chose him, and why you even allowed someone so dysfunctional in your life.

and write your hearts content, you did good.

God bless

jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
6 posted 2018-07-14 11:05 PM


So many aren't strong enough to walk away, my friend. Glad you were!

Memories, essentially, never die. But one has to learn to relegate them to just that, and move on - they're past, and to be trite, "the future is where it's at", but you have to leave the past and accept it as a memory. Learn from it, yes, but it's no longer you or your life.

Hang in there...


j.

JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
7 posted 2018-07-15 05:08 PM


This is yur first foray on the comeback trail.  sincerely hope that by now you have worked you inner problems out.

~ If they give you ruled paper, write sideways. ~

Poet In Pink
Senior Member
Posts 1066
MI
8 posted 2018-07-17 04:04 PM


Dear Kellie first let me say I am so happy to hear that you gathered the strength to get out when you did. No one should have to live in a abusive relationship, whether physical or emotional or both. YOU are better than that Keep going forward and healing. Take your time in finding your soulmate and be sure you choose them for all the right reasons. Thank you for sharing and I'll say a prayer for you   Alana
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