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Passions in Poetry

If I Appear To Take You For Granted

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Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Rara Avis
since 10-10-2009
Posts 8051
Fair to middlin'


0 posted 08-03-2017 07:41 AM       View Profile for Lori Grosser Rhoden   Email Lori Grosser Rhoden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for Lori Grosser Rhoden

I wish someone could get inside my head
slip their feet inside my shoes
and their hands inside my fingers
and meet my major malfunction.
I think a fresh perspective is in order.
It is easy to give advice
looking from the outside in.
But from the inside out
is a totally different function.
The inside is where the fears and hurts
linger and hide, fester and erode.
Maybe an objective observer
can see beyond misconceptions and denial
and turn in a tender word to hasten healing.
I wish someone could see my truth
then tell it to me gentle.
Donít just say ďSuck it up!Ē
then walk away.
Iíve lost my faith,
Iíve lost my way.
Iím sick at heart.
I feel empty
when I pray.
This is a different kind of low
that leaves me indifferent and numb
as opposed to wanting to end it all.
I donít feel hopeless so much as pointless.
It is not as if Iím not doing something about it.
Iíve got plenty of therapy and meds.
But my motivation still needs rebuilt or overhauled.
I canít seem to nurture and self-love myself enough.
Iím weary of my dysfunctions
I want to turn this crap around.
Iím afraid I canít do it.
Iím afraid I donít know how.
Iím afraid of being overwhelmed,
Iím overwhelmed by being afraid.
So I seek escapes in different ways.
My newest vice is sleeping away my nights and days.
Then of course there is my writing
that saves my brain from turning to mush
and lets me focus on those things
that used to bring me joy
when I could still feel it.
In case you were wondering,
Iím not looking for pity or sympathy.
However, a touch of empathy would be Divine.
Just know how much you mean to me
and forgive me  if I appear to take you for granted.
LGR©8/3/17

© Copyright 2017 Lori Grosser Rhoden - All Rights Reserved
jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 04-30-2000
Posts 7211
Spring, Texas


1 posted 08-03-2017 11:44 AM       View Profile for jwesley   Email jwesley   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for jwesley

To me, your best written, and most wonderfully introspective piece . . . EVER!  

You suffer from a sickness that affects the masses overall, and in particular, those of us advancing in years, those beyond youth and the daily excitement that being young, brings. We're not as agile, we're not as sharp, and we're feeling the loss of need - our kids are grown, and grandkids (bless them for filling in) live, for the most part, elsewhere . . . and life, in general is just somewhat emptier, and unfulfilling.

And nothing, in spite of what soothsayers try to convince you of, makes a damn bit of difference because it's the emptiness inside that eats you alive.  Oh, you can tweak it a bit, exercise, joining social functions and groups, babysitting grandkids,
charity work - you can stay busy and involved, but: you pay a price!  Aches, pains, weariness - down right exhaustion!  

And then, when the day and/or night is done, everything/body is taking a rest, your spouse, if still with you, is snoring away, slapping out at flies in dreamland . . .
you're alone, and all the things you've done to combat the emptiness inside that eats you alive, is staring you in the eye again.

It's life, my wonderful friend, and it comes with the passing of time, the loosening on the reins of youth, when we look back on the past, and realize  - - - it is the past for the most part, and we're now on the edge of the picture, near the frame, no longer in the center.

And, we miss the attention, the feeling of worthiness that being the center point of everyone/thing,  gave us.  We were the Matriarch!, the Patriarch!,   only now we're just in attendance.

Me - I just look forward to each day, thank God every morning when I arise, put my feet on the floor and am able to stand up, and ask him to bless me every night so I can do the same the next morning.  Yeah, I know, it's routine now, and so is the emptiness inside, but I still smile about it, live with it, remember everything I'm still allowed too, and live, the best I can, through the day I'm in!.

I, and many others, live in the same house as you, my friend, just in my own inner-self!  You need/want empathy?

HOWDY PARTNER!
---

Good Grief ! Nothing like verbosity is there?  

jimmy
BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 10-23-2001
Posts 10566
By the Seaside


2 posted 08-03-2017 12:12 PM       View Profile for BluesSerenade   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for BluesSerenade

I hear you Lori.  I learned a long time ago that my situation is not unique.  Life is a journey, and it seems we are constantly challenged.  I like the saying that women (and men) are like tea.... You never know how strong they are until they're in hot water.     i take pride in my inner strength and perseverence because for me, there is not another option.
Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Rara Avis
since 10-10-2009
Posts 8051
Fair to middlin'


3 posted 08-03-2017 12:27 PM       View Profile for Lori Grosser Rhoden   Email Lori Grosser Rhoden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lori Grosser Rhoden

Thanks Jimmy for your generous words of support. Ya know I secretly hope there is something wrong with me just so it can be fixed. I really don't want to hear it is just one of those things that comes with age and that diet and exercise is the best cure.
Bless your heart Jimmy! ~L
Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Rara Avis
since 10-10-2009
Posts 8051
Fair to middlin'


4 posted 08-03-2017 12:32 PM       View Profile for Lori Grosser Rhoden   Email Lori Grosser Rhoden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lori Grosser Rhoden

Blues,
I used to sound like you and I took great pleasure in lifting up those around me. Somewhere along the way I sprang a leak and ran out of gas.Learning how to recharge yourself has not been a strong point for me. But it is never to late to learn. ~L
JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 02-06-2011
Posts 16179
South Louisiana


5 posted 08-03-2017 03:45 PM       View Profile for JerryPat2   Email JerryPat2   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit JerryPat2's Home Page   View IP for JerryPat2

Since I have never experienced what you described the only thing I can say is just keep putting one foot (menal thought) in front of the other. Maybe you will get back to being you soon.

~ If they give you ruled paper, write sideways. ~
Cerulean
Member
since 07-26-2017
Posts 92


6 posted 08-03-2017 04:25 PM       View Profile for Cerulean   Email Cerulean   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cerulean

Much of what I see others say here is true and well intended, but there is also so much more behind the scenes than all that. There is more on heaven and earth than is dreamt of in such philosophies. Question all that you see, even the comments of your dear friends here and mine.

Listen to your heart, at how times have changed - that it's more than just the seasons changing, more than just the fluttering leaves now falling from the trees... that in another time, another world, things could've been different even with the degree to which families drift apart. Different with the course of diseases. Different with how the elderly suffer loneliness. That some things that appear natural even to others that have treaded the earth longer than I, are not so natural.

But you can be a driving force behind positive changes that you want. Thank you for this poem, which shows you still care about others.

[This message has been edited by Cerulean (08-03-2017 04:58 PM).]

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Rara Avis
since 10-10-2009
Posts 8051
Fair to middlin'


7 posted 08-03-2017 06:31 PM       View Profile for Lori Grosser Rhoden   Email Lori Grosser Rhoden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lori Grosser Rhoden

Don't worry Jerry, I will. ~L
Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Rara Avis
since 10-10-2009
Posts 8051
Fair to middlin'


8 posted 08-03-2017 06:34 PM       View Profile for Lori Grosser Rhoden   Email Lori Grosser Rhoden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lori Grosser Rhoden

Cerulean,
I know I need to be the driving force for positive change in my life. I'll get right on that after my nap... ~L
Poet In Pink
Member
since 05-18-2017
Posts 362
MI


9 posted 08-07-2017 12:48 AM       View Profile for Poet In Pink   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Poet In Pink

Lori Lou your words are so honest and straight from the heart ~ The emotions your frankness brings about can't be described with just words ~ This really touched me while reading ~ Thank you for sharing Alana
Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Rara Avis
since 10-10-2009
Posts 8051
Fair to middlin'


10 posted 08-07-2017 04:22 AM       View Profile for Lori Grosser Rhoden   Email Lori Grosser Rhoden   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Lori Grosser Rhoden

Pinkapeal,
Found out my blood sugars are all out of wack and that has been a big part of my problem. So I am working on getting them back down. Hope to be feeling better soon.~L
 
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