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Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

0 posted 2017-07-06 11:25 PM

It is nine in the evening.
The twilight of the sky
out the window
looks like early morning
and time to put on my walking shoes.
It is still nearly ninety out.
Otherwise, one might be tempted
to take an evening stroll.
We used to sit out on the porch
and watch it get dark.
But cancer changed all that.
Cancer changed everything.
It changed him.
Just the word made him sick.
We’re down to just weeks
until they run the scan
that will tell us
if they got it all.
I pray they did.
The cure nearly killed him.
It shook him to his core
to be so sick for so long.
It took his self-confidence.
I have felt helpless
to help him.
Nothing I do
eases his mind or body.
Except to listen,
to hear him tell me
a hundred times over
things neither one of us can change.
I’ve watched him withdraw
into himself and shrivel up
into a grumpy old man.
A part of me aches for him
for all that he’s been through,
the rest of me wants to
kick his butt
and wake him up
to ways of feeling better.
Jesus, how I miss him.
I’m putting my prayers
and my money on him
getting a clean report,
that will finally
give his mind a moment’s peace.
And that he’ll come back to me
from that dark cage
where cancer has had him kept.
Until then I’ll watch the window
and the skies turn light to dark
and back to light again.
LGR©7/6/17

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

1 posted 2017-07-07 12:02 PM

Oh Lori, how this aches. I so wish I could find the words to comfort you. I hope the days ahead will be peaceful ones. My heart and my prayers go out to you.

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

2 posted 2017-07-07 12:31 PM

Yeah well, it pretty well sucks. But you just have to make the best of it or it just sucks worse, know what I mean? It could be worse, we have not been hit by a tornado yet.
~L

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

3 posted 2017-07-07 10:23 AM

I hope the next scan will turn out positive, Lori.

~ If they give you ruled paper, write sideways. ~

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

4 posted 2017-07-07 07:10 PM

Me too. I now can more fully appreciate the statement that "the suspense is killing me."
~L

Poet In Pink
Senior Member
Posts 1066
MI

5 posted 2017-07-08 07:21 PM

Dear Lori Lou my heart breaks for you, your hubby and family ~ I have had to face the big C with many of my family members ~ I know how hard it is to travel that road ~ Sending you all my good wishes and prayers for a good report Huggerz ~ Alana

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

6 posted 2017-07-09 05:34 AM

Pinksweets,
Thank you for your good wishes. Cancer is a hellish business that is hard to comprehend till you been down that road. I feel for you and your family. So here's to keeping the chin up and the anxiety and discomfort down!
~L

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