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Passions in Poetry

Grief

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JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 02-06-2011
Posts 15908
South Louisiana


0 posted 02-28-2017 10:29 PM       View Profile for JerryPat2   Email JerryPat2   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit JerryPat2's Home Page   View IP for JerryPat2


Grief is passion reversed, it's that and worse,
When we are in despair, a smile is rare.
I'm in pure anguish, and here I languish.
Through the midnight air, a whiff of her hair.

I have prayed to God, I think He's a fraud,
Sitting on His throne, leaving us alone.
I shriek and cry, for a woman gone bye,
My soul's in retreat, some days I don't eat.

I lay silent at night, no will to fight,
My mind is blanched, I recall how she danced.
My heartache is deep, she made me feel cheap,
I suffer for love's death, can't catch my breath.

Love can be two-faced, and tries to erase,
Love full of pride; you were to be my bride.
You chose to let go, and not let it grow,
Shattered around my feet, our love so sweet.

My eyes are cried out, now I want to shout,
Tears did not work, I just felt like a jerk.
I see you sometimes, and you look sublime,
I want to speak, but turn aside, I'm weak.

İFebruary 23, 2017 / Jerry Pat Bolton


~ If they give you ruled paper, write sideways. ~

[This message has been edited by JerryPat2 (03-01-2017 02:52 PM).]

© Copyright 2017 Jerry Pat Bolton - All Rights Reserved
BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 10-23-2001
Posts 10487
By the Seaside


1 posted 03-01-2017 02:10 PM       View Profile for BluesSerenade   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for BluesSerenade

Sadly...

Truth is I stopped reading after
"God is a fraud"
JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 02-06-2011
Posts 15908
South Louisiana


2 posted 03-01-2017 02:48 PM       View Profile for JerryPat2   Email JerryPat2   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit JerryPat2's Home Page   View IP for JerryPat2

Eh, sorry that you gave up on the poem because of one line, Blues. One line obliterated the rest of the poem? I guess I can  understand it, as I too refuse to read all the gushing poetry concerning faith. As long as we are true to ourselves, that is all that really matters. I understand.

~ If they give you ruled paper, write sideways. ~
jjote
Senior Member
since 12-25-2002
Posts 1030
Ontario, Canada


3 posted 03-01-2017 03:53 PM       View Profile for jjote   Email jjote   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for jjote

everyone has his own beliefs about God, but don't easily give up...I too do have those moments when I say "are you even listening"-but afterwards I do feel the load is lighter after I dump it all on Him. Carry on Jerry
JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 02-06-2011
Posts 15908
South Louisiana


4 posted 03-01-2017 03:55 PM       View Profile for JerryPat2   Email JerryPat2   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit JerryPat2's Home Page   View IP for JerryPat2

Thank you, jjote, you always know the right things to say.

~ If they give you ruled paper, write sideways. ~
P.U Stinkenbaum
Member
since 03-09-2017
Posts 298
A Not So Stealthy Bomber


5 posted 05-13-2017 02:00 PM       View Profile for P.U Stinkenbaum   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for P.U Stinkenbaum

When I saw another poem with this title (in lower case), it brought your own piece on the subject to mind Mr. Bolton.

In your defense sir, you did not say "God is a fraud". What you did say was, "I have prayed to God, I think He's a fraud". There's a big difference. Many who do not get their 'specific' prayers answered "think" the same thing, including those who are still experiencing grief and wondering how a righteous God could let 'this' happen. A perfectly natural response Mr. Bolton.  

Your poem was heartfelt and full of personal courage. It's clear to any discerning reader that what you actually said was taken out of context.

With regards...


Just out looking for the real me...
JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 02-06-2011
Posts 15908
South Louisiana


6 posted 05-13-2017 02:27 PM       View Profile for JerryPat2   Email JerryPat2   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit JerryPat2's Home Page   View IP for JerryPat2

Thank you PU, I thought the same thing at time, but didn't want to bring it up to Blues. I am never in the mood to argue about religious situations, because most of the time it never solves anything, just makes maters worse. But again. Thank you again.

~ If they give you ruled paper, write sideways. ~

jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 04-30-2000
Posts 7095
Texas . . .


7 posted 05-13-2017 07:35 PM       View Profile for jwesley   Email jwesley   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for jwesley

Well, I consider myself a "discerning" reader, and I don't believe
it was taken out of context (Blues' comment)

It was simply one person's "opinion" versus another.
It's no different than me choosing to read/not read a book,
or listen to a song, based on the first few lines/notes -
except this was about  "personal belief" which is worse than
differing politics in conversions (if not of the same mind).

I give Blues lots of credit for her honesty - essentially, and
in My words - "...I came in to read you, got turned off by it
and quit reading (for whatever reason) but wanted you to
know I had tried it on for size."

This comment is not meant to denigrate in anyway your poem, you,
or anything you write my friend - and after reading your work I was not
going to comment on it at all (for reasons other than Blues') until, after
reading all the comments,  I felt Blues was being disparaged
( . . .  simply one person's "opinion" versus another.)


Keep up the good works, my friend - always enjoy you - -


J
P.U Stinkenbaum
Member
since 03-09-2017
Posts 298
A Not So Stealthy Bomber


8 posted 05-13-2017 07:37 PM       View Profile for P.U Stinkenbaum   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for P.U Stinkenbaum

You're quite welcome Mr. Bolton. I prefer open-ended discussions myself rather than arguments, but few want to do that dance. All that aside, I liked what you said here:
quote:
"Grief is passion reversed, it's that and worse,
When we are in despair, a smile is rare"
Some just don't want to share your grief. Those are never your real friends.

Well said Sir!


Just out looking for the real me...
JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 02-06-2011
Posts 15908
South Louisiana


9 posted 05-13-2017 07:47 PM       View Profile for JerryPat2   Email JerryPat2   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit JerryPat2's Home Page   View IP for JerryPat2

Okay, jwesley, I have not seen her around any more of my poems. That said, it wasn't
"just" that one poem, she seems to have left my poetical system. That is also her choice. I'm not worrying about it.

~ If they give you ruled paper, write sideways. ~

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20941
on the threshold of a dream


10 posted 05-15-2017 08:31 AM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

You have written your grief well. Death is more final, but grief inflicted upon us by one we loved has a different sting.

I hope that someday, words replace the wails which are all I can manage right now.
BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 10-23-2001
Posts 10487
By the Seaside


11 posted 05-15-2017 03:03 PM       View Profile for BluesSerenade   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for BluesSerenade

Actually JP I have read and commented on several of your poems since this one.  I wasn't offended one way or the other. I just couldn't get past God is a fraud.  I reply in kind when I enjoy a poem, yours included.  Geeee...and yea it's just one person's opinion.  I can do that.

Hugs jwesley.
P.U Stinkenbaum
Member
since 03-09-2017
Posts 298
A Not So Stealthy Bomber


12 posted 05-15-2017 04:19 PM       View Profile for P.U Stinkenbaum   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for P.U Stinkenbaum

Mr. Bolton did not say "God is a fraud". B.Serenade did, in quotation marks at that, as if quoting the author.
What Mr. Bolton did say was, "I have prayed to God, I think He's a fraud". Many who don't get their specific prayers answered may think the same thing, including those who are still experiencing grief and wondering how a righteous God could let the event happen.
A perfectly natural response for Mr. Bolton and others who grieve.  

My opinion was based on my reading the poem. Simple.



Just out looking for the real me...
BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 10-23-2001
Posts 10487
By the Seaside


13 posted 05-15-2017 04:33 PM       View Profile for BluesSerenade   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for BluesSerenade

have prayed to God, I think He's a fraud,

......................

Umm whatever.  My bad for using quotation marks,  Sorry JP.  I like your poetry and you.  This is getting a little silly.  
P.U Stinkenbaum
Member
since 03-09-2017
Posts 298
A Not So Stealthy Bomber


14 posted 05-15-2017 06:43 PM       View Profile for P.U Stinkenbaum   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for P.U Stinkenbaum

"This is getting a little silly"

It's not "silly" to misquote someone. I think the post has evolved into 'discussion' and should be moved there.

That's my opinion.  

Just out looking for the real me...

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