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Open Poetry #49
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Mayberry USA . . . Retold
| Open Poetry #49 |
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Mayberry USA . . . Retold |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana 
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This breaks my heart to tell this sad tale, I hear each and all as you begin to wail. But I must tell about a little country town, with white picket fences all around. Mayberry, RFD was its quaint little name, Sheriff Andy Taylor filled up a door frame. Once a week, around the TV without delay, we did gather to watch Mayberry, USA. Small town, small problems, we were glad that nothing ever happened there really bad. Andy and Barney and Opie and Aunt Bea, were so sweet, oh, crap, I have to disagree. Order up another round boys, I have a tale, and it'll go down better with beer in a pail. I know for a fact that Mayberry is a faker, like that town down the road, Green Acres. The Darlings bad boy was old Earnest T, all he did was throw rocks and slap his knee. There was more a-going on than met the eye, Earnest T was a saint I wouldn't tell a lie. Goober, remember Goober who fixed cars? Well, old Goob ran after hours massage bars. He parlayed his old dumber than dumb con, but he was really an X-rated Don Juan. Mayberry had a barber shop on Main Street, Floyd cut everyone's hair right in that seat. Shifty-eyed Floyd also dealt in amphetamines, crosses, LA turnarounds, raking in the green. Old Otis, the town's much loved town drunk, sure didn’t act like a pious and saintly monk. What the townsfolk thought harmless and silly, covered up the fact that Otis was a serial killer. Everyone's favorite aunt, such a beatific smile, home cooked meals were her homespun style. Little did we know that Aunt Bea was unstable, bloody abortions took place on her kitchen table. Quick draw Barney, deputy with a nervous wit, with his one little bullet, a clown, we do admit. An evil clown with secrets so awful and so sad, about how he stalked and seduced small lads. Tow-headed little Opie we all came to love, growing up, all was fishing and baseball gloves. Now we know that cute little smile, gosh darn, a sly way of saying he was in love with Barn. If we pulled all the covers from each and all, what about Andy, standing tall, never did crawl? Did the square shooter have any hidden crime? Yes, behind that old boy grin, is original sin. ©March 23, 2016 / Jerry Pat Bolton ~ If they give you ruled paper, write sideways. ~ |
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| © Copyright 2016 Jerry Pat Bolton - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Ari Squire Member Posts 488 In The Phallus Lane |
If I never read another poem for the rest of my life, I will feel satisfied that I reached the pinnacle reading your fantastic writing of the iconic 'Mayberry, USA Jerry. I laughed, cried, moaned, got stoned, got straight and shot 3 of my neighbors. Nothing in the 'Blue' surpasses this! More feelings and fewer words please |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Well, at least the poem helped you clean out some of the neighborhood trash . . . Heh.Heh . . . I thank you, Ari, from the bottom of my heart for your creative comments . . . ~ If they give you ruled paper, write sideways. ~ |
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Cari Member Posts 411 Englnand |
Sounds a good series though I don’t remember it making it across the pond. To be honest mate, I watch very little on TV now. I have the paid channel Sky for the sport I watch and a few documentaries and that’s about it. Our main channels, BBC and ITV, have really gone to the dogs with wall to wall reality crap. Forty ways to cook a chicken, Who will win the Great Bake Off? Who bloody cares? Our comedy consists of a nonentity pushing another nonentity around in a shopping trolley and falling over, they do a lot of falling over. Sky TV buys a few American shows on the cheap and repeats them for years. To name a few, Teen Mom, Toddler Pageants, Judge Judy etc and plenty of vampires and zombies, that may frighten an eight year old enough to hide behind the sofa but are pretty laughable in the present day. God!! I must be getting old. Cari. PS- That was a great poem of yours that got shifted. |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Thank you Cari for your kind response to my poem. Television! After my wife died in 2009 I stopped getting cable TV. I was so sick of the crap on television I could scream, and did numerous times. Heh. Heh . . . I get everything I want on the Internet. Thanks again. ~ If they give you ruled paper, write sideways. ~ |
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Cari Member Posts 411 Englnand |
Quote: I get everything I want on the Internet. Wise Man. Same here. |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
"Wise Man. Same here." . . . You betcha! ~ If they give you ruled paper, write sideways. ~ |
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DaysofView Member
since 2014-04-01
Posts 433Just A Slice Of The Pie |
You've been so many places in your life and now Mayberry too! I would probably never notice these things. You are so full of neat surprises! If I were more than I am, I'd see things differently instead of the same all the time. |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Thanks, DV, I know my mind is crammed full of off the wall things and they just evolve into poetry. ~ If they give you ruled paper, write sideways. ~ |
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