Open Poetry #49 |
Life in Increments |
JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
I have been the man: the seventh son I have been the fool: goofy and fun I have been the rain: tears streaming down I have been the jest: from a small town I have been the coil: twisted and turned I have been the bars: street-wise learned I have been the bird: currents to glide I have been the briar: filled with pride I have been the hero: but not too many I have been the king: grandiose dreams Woulda, coulda, shoulda I survived the lance: outrun them all I survived the tempt: some I did fall I survived the battle: I have the scars I survived the lights: I was a film star I survived the growl: my throat is raw I survived the ardor: her low-cut bra I survived the crash: just inward hurts I survived the crave: swishing skirts I survived the years: without a key I survived the child: that would be me It was a hell of a ride ~ If they give you ruled paper, write sideways. ~ |
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© Copyright 2016 Jerry Pat Bolton - All Rights Reserved | |||
Ari Squire Member Posts 488 In The Phallus Lane |
I really liked the concept of your poem Jerry. Split in two as it is made for great reading. The associations were 'heat-treated', tempered from a wide spectrum of life experience. You've certainly 'been there, done that". More feelings and fewer words please |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Yes Ari, I will admit to having "been there, done that," but I'm not sure I would wish it on anyone else. Still . . . it suited me just fine. Thank you for your in-dept observation. ~ If they give you ruled paper, write sideways. ~ |
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jjote Senior Member
since 2002-12-25
Posts 1088Ontario, Canada |
I like this in the 2-part form, it gives the continuity of the 'BEEN THERE, DONE THAT" fit. And reinforces the personae of you emerging as survivor, through it all, in a self-deprecating, even wry sense way. |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Many thanks, jjote. Yeah, I like this structure also. I found that it gives me maneuverability to answer myself within each line. ~ If they give you ruled paper, write sideways. ~ |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
hi jery, you point out what your life has been, with a natural eficiency in the choice of words, i am moved and feel some pain and stengnth both, Thanks for the convincing share, yann |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Thank you, Yann, for your wonderful comments. ~ If they give you ruled paper, write sideways. ~ |
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