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Open Poetry #49
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JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana

0 posted 2016-04-29 03:31 PM


I have been the man: the seventh son
I have been the fool: goofy and fun
I have been the rain: tears streaming down
I have been the jest:  from a small town
I have been the coil: twisted and turned
I have been the bars: street-wise learned
I have been the bird: currents to glide
I have been the briar: filled with pride
I have been the hero: but not too many
I have been the king: grandiose dreams

         Woulda, coulda, shoulda

I survived the lance:  outrun them all
I survived the tempt: some I did fall
I survived the battle:  I have the scars
I survived the lights:  I was a film star
I survived the growl: my throat is raw
I survived the ardor: her low-cut bra
I survived the crash:  just inward hurts
I survived the crave: swishing skirts
I survived the years:  without a key
I survived the child:  that would be me

               It was a hell of a ride



~ If they give you ruled paper, write sideways. ~

© Copyright 2016 Jerry Pat Bolton - All Rights Reserved
Ari Squire
Member
Posts 488
In The Phallus Lane
1 posted 2016-04-29 09:33 PM


I really liked the concept of your poem Jerry. Split in two as it is made for great reading. The associations were 'heat-treated', tempered from a wide spectrum of life experience. You've certainly 'been there, done that".  

More feelings and fewer words please

JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
2 posted 2016-04-29 09:44 PM


Yes  Ari, I will admit to having "been there, done that," but I'm not sure I would wish it on anyone else. Still . . . it suited me just fine. Thank you for your in-dept observation.

~ If they give you ruled paper, write sideways. ~

jjote
Senior Member
since 2002-12-25
Posts 1088
Ontario, Canada
3 posted 2016-04-30 08:11 AM


I like this in the 2-part form, it gives the continuity of the 'BEEN THERE, DONE THAT" fit. And reinforces the personae of you emerging as survivor, through it all, in a self-deprecating, even wry sense way.
JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
4 posted 2016-04-30 08:32 AM


Many thanks, jjote. Yeah, I like this structure also. I found that it gives me maneuverability to answer myself within each line.

~ If they give you ruled paper, write sideways. ~

2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea
5 posted 2016-04-30 10:21 AM


hi jery, you point out what your life has been, with a natural eficiency in the choice of words, i am moved and feel some pain and stengnth both, Thanks for the convincing share,


yann

JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
6 posted 2016-04-30 10:26 AM


Thank you, Yann, for your wonderful comments.

~ If they give you ruled paper, write sideways. ~

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