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Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

0 posted 2016-03-31 01:26 PM

Had a talk just yesterday
about how my past
still cripples me today.
I spent too many years
keeping monsters at bay.
Watching their countenance,
always on alert
for every nuance.
Trying to keep the peace
with the right things to say.
Trying to keep the insanity
from blowing it all away.
The worse it got
the harder I tried.
So focused on fixing
the unfixable,
I nearly died.
Now there is a legacy
of self-denial
that lives deep within me.
I don’t speak up
and simply have my say.
I beat around the bush awhile
and drop a hint or two.
Being confrontational
is something I just can’t seem to do.
Being dissatisfied
I try to hide
and then just make do.
My happiness is always conditional
on things situational.
My insides get contorted
because my reality is distorted.
It is unhealthy to be so compliant
and hesitating.
I no longer need to be so hyper vigilant.
There is no disaster waiting.
I no longer need these skills to cope.
I can let go and grow.
I have hope.
Awareness is the key
to being a happier
and healthier me.

LGR©3/31/16

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-11-07

Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

1 posted 2016-04-01 04:41 PM

Excellent poem, Lori. Talk to Winston about it. He will know exactly what to do. I can see from his gorgeous photo, that he is a very wise doggywog!

jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

2 posted 2016-04-02 10:33 AM

Welcome to LIFE, my friend, and reality.

Keep on walkin'. . . easy like!!

j.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

3 posted 2016-04-02 08:35 PM

fine writing...james

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

4 posted 2016-04-03 06:47 AM

Owl, thanks for commenting,
Just to let you know I have already tried to take Winston's advice on life...Eat and spend the day on the couch. He lost 7 lbs and I gained 20+. LOL! ~L

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

5 posted 2016-04-03 06:52 AM

Jimmy,
Oh Jeeze thanks for the welcome like I just arrived! I'm getting too old for this growing up stuff. I want to learn simpler things in my old age...like technology (arg)

~L

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

6 posted 2016-04-03 06:53 AM

Thanks James! ~L

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

7 posted 2016-04-03 02:50 PM

I understand completely and thoroughly, Lori. You have, over the years managed to keep the beast at bay, almost destroying yourself as you did. But now! It is way past time to start giving Lori a break and ease up on yourself. I think you can do it. You can, ya know?

~ If they give you ruled paper, write sideways. ~

Ari Squire
Member
Posts 488
In The Phallus Lane

8 posted 2016-04-05 02:31 PM

You begin with the troubling and end having come up with a solution. This is how to live.

More feelings and fewer words please

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