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Open Poetry #49
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Cari
Member
Posts 411
Englnand

0 posted 2016-01-31 04:07 PM





I have no grave
Fate and shell
have denied me of a place to rest
I have a name
Engraved high on the Menim Gate
Stand on tiptoe to find
Amongst the many
~
Those from Eton’s fields
We from city slums
Joined in unlikely union
Answered the call of the patriotic drum
The women who gave
A kiss to the brave
A white feather for the hesitant
~
The innocent marched to the old songs
The few that returned did not sing for you
~
We stand on the fire step
Above us the bank of earth and bones
We call for pity, and are given rum
The guns fall silent
Cordite mixed with the stench of fear
On the duckboards below
A trench rat scuttles for safety
~
Old faces on young shoulders
Those who live with their demons
Those who are indifferent to them
Those who long for a snipers bullet
A free passport to oblivion
Light stars on the lifting dawn
We climb into hell
~
Do not pray for no one is listening
God has turned his face in disgust
Now I wander Flanders fields
I am in the wind that brushes your cheek
A whisper of twenty thousand voices
Listen, can you hear?
Somewhere another drum is beating
+
+
+

1914 marks the 100th anniversary of WW1
The Somme 1916 the graveyard of youth; 20,000 British dead on the first day and it went on for months
The last two lines of the poem show that we never learn ‘Somewhere another drum is beating’

© Copyright 2016 Cari - All Rights Reserved
ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
1 posted 2016-02-01 08:48 AM


My Friend:

We have our own "Menim Gate" here in a rural Pennsylvania town.

It is the brick wall of a store painted with names of WW1 soldiers.

A few of names have the letters M.I.A. next to them..several have a gold star to tell their bodies were recovered.

But in reality, all were lost.
"The few that returned did not sing for you"
In reality, all were missing in action.

"Cordite mixed with the stench of fear"
excellent line

"Do not pray for no one is listening
God has turned his face in disgust"
Best line in the poem..holds true, even today in my opinion.

And this--says it was not "the war to end all wars"..a sardonic answer to that statement...
"Somewhere another drum is beating"

Enjoyed your poem very much...

"Poetry is an echo, asking a shadow to dance."
Carl Sandburg

2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea
2 posted 2016-02-01 01:55 PM


we can't forget these special braves, you deliver a such moving and gracious hommage, this is splendide
yann



JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
3 posted 2016-02-01 02:46 PM


As the wars up the ante, i.e., the horrors and twisted ways they treat their prisoners, you would think lessons could be learned. This seems not to be so, however, so the beat goes on. We poets, and other like-minded people can rail about it, but every ten years or so war breaks out again. I am against war, however, ISIS needs to be stomped in the ground.

~ If they give you ruled paper, write sideways. ~

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
4 posted 2016-02-01 09:47 PM


thoughtful writing...james
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
5 posted 2016-02-02 04:29 AM


Many elements of this poem describe the horrors of war. I have to agree with Jerry even though mankind has been killing each other for thousands of years the accomplishments are vague and the war returns and innocent people once again are slaughtered by the millions.
Blaming God is just a cop out because man is a free moral agent, especially those in charge.
During those great wars catholics killed catholics and protestants killed protestants each side claiming they had God on their side. I have never seen too many priests or ministers in the front lines fighting although I believe a small amount were there.
Who was in the right?
Young innocent men and women slaughtered because of decisions made by those in governmental authority prostituting themselves with religion to gain the emotional upper hand over the masses.
Jerry's right about isis once again a form of religion used to dominant man's fellow man to his injury.

This is great writing and thought evoking.

true love never looks after it's own interests

ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
6 posted 2016-02-02 05:22 AM


Ethome

"Blaming God is just a cop out because man is a free moral agent, especially those in charge."    I agree..

Cari said this:

"Do not pray for no one is listening
God has turned his face in disgust"

This says to me that God is not being blamed, but is disgusted with his own creation.(humans)
If any blame is to be put on God in this matter, it's that he failed to create a perfect product..giving us free will is obviously a mistake, but like humans, God must make mistakes also?

As for the Daesh...their God is also disgusted, and they are just another

" governmental authority prostituting themselves with religion"

"Somewhere another drum is beating"

Beating, right now, the loudest in Africa. and the middle east, by a response to other religious drums beaten...the sound is heard around the world, making God restless in his heaven. With poser Muslims,and poser Christians drumming the loudest.

Namaste


ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
7 posted 2016-02-02 10:56 AM


I think God did create a perfect product but because the product is a free moral agent he/she chose to challenge his authority as the creator and choose to go their own way, leading us to where we are now.
What would be the purpose of creating us to be like a puppet programed to always do what's right.
We need to express our love for him from the heart not because programed to do so.
I don't believe God himself is imperfect at all, but his creations are free to chose right or wrong.
We can't humanize God even though we have many of his remarkable qualities in his image, love joy peace longsuffering kindness goodness mildness and self control etc. However, when we don't use them then there's the selfish results we are now living.
Another drive by shooting, some mother leaves a new born baby in a trash can, a religious zealot blows up hundreds of innocent people women and children, crimes committed in the name of war, etc. People are beginning to realize that organized religion is at the root cause of all this evil and doing it in the name of God. It disgusts me!

true love never looks after it's own interests

Cari
Member
Posts 411
Englnand
8 posted 2016-02-02 04:41 PM


First let me say thank you all for reading and for your positive comments on the poem.

My intensions in using the line ‘God has turned his face in disgust’ were to register the feeling of disgust at the slaughter on the killing fields below. It wasn’t in any way a comment on religious beliefs, either for or against.

ISIS needs to be stomped in the ground.
I agree friend, but it’s not that easy. Thirteen years against them in Afghanistan and they’re still there and as an ex soldier myself; I would expect a leader who is capable of leading from the front, not one who dodged the draft in Việt Nam with a sore foot, so I’m told. Words mean nothing; a level sound head is what’s needed

Cari.

ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
9 posted 2016-02-03 06:56 AM


Friend--you said

"My intensions in using the line ‘God has turned his face in disgust’ were to register the feeling of disgust at the slaughter on the killing fields below.

I took your intentions to be exactly as stated  above..

" It wasn’t in any way a comment on religious beliefs, either for or against."
and
"ISIS needs to be stomped in the ground"

Yes, and it is a shame that feeble minded leaders, and their feeble minded choices, made arrangements that put them in their position of power, thus the need to be "stomped". Feeble minds that that did not learn lessons from the past..

As I stated before, I feel the present problems all come from posers with power. both in the past, and in the present, both Christian, and Muslim.

" Words mean nothing; a level sound head is what’s needed"

Can actions, wrought from those "sound head(s)"cause this madness to stop?

What we do now is the subject of a different poem.

I have great respect for your poem, as I believe that mistakes by man, can be undone by man..Your poem shows the physical results of those mistakes, without the encombrance of blame.

I'll shut up now...

Namaste



ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
10 posted 2016-02-04 05:35 PM


My apologies for going on a bit of a rant.
However, the subject of your poem was well presented by you and as you know this place is called passions.
I agree wholeheartedly God is disgusted with all that's going on down here, killing fields and many other things too many to number.
Have a great day and I appreciate the fact that you and millions of others have tried to make a difference no matter how hard the task.

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