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Open Poetry #49
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Ticklefingers
Senior Member
Posts 710
Louisiana

0 posted 2016-01-25 07:48 PM


Waiting for a train
To take me home to my love
Rusty railroad track

                         ...and a newspaper from 1949.


She told me "play one for your supper Danny and maybe you'll get breakfast".

© Copyright 2016 Danny - All Rights Reserved
Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
1 posted 2016-01-25 08:31 PM


I don't clam to be the brightest crayon in the box around here, so forgive me when I go huh? Took me several readings before this poem made to me.....because I was trying to have it make sense with the title.....once I disconnected the two, the poem made perfect sense to me. The fog at the train station cleared so to speak. I'm still not sure what you're trying to tell us with your title. It is probably obvious to everyone else, but I'm like ???. Would you be so kind as to set me straight? in 88 words or less... ~L
Ticklefingers
Senior Member
Posts 710
Louisiana
2 posted 2016-01-25 09:34 PM


quote:
" It is probably obvious to everyone else, but I'm like ???. Would you be so kind as to set me straight? in 88 words or less... ~L
Sure Miss Lori...He's dead.

Five words and one ellipse

Now there's 10...no now there's 15 not counting the numbers.

Aww... I give up! You count them and don't ask me any more questions!

   ...See ya

She told me "play one for your supper Danny and maybe you'll get breakfast".

[This message has been edited by Ticklefingers (01-26-2016 12:00 AM).]

JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
3 posted 2016-01-25 10:30 PM


Ticklefingers . . . it all makes sense to me . . . Whot wuz I talkin' about . . .

~ If they give you ruled paper, write sideways. ~

Ticklefingers
Senior Member
Posts 710
Louisiana
4 posted 2016-01-25 11:55 PM


Nuthin' gets past you JerryPat!  

Thanks a bunch fer' tha visit pal!


Take a bunch of 88's witcha!  

She told me "play one for your supper Danny and maybe you'll get breakfast".

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
5 posted 2016-01-26 01:34 PM


"Beyond the veil" revelations await us. And I just made up my own from the mere title.  

It is intriguing to imagine things ... and it is funny and in the same time disquieting what comes up when we allow imagination to surface ...

Those "rusty railroads" will take no one any place ... and the newspaper of 1949 tells a poignant story.

Margherita


ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
6 posted 2016-01-26 02:36 PM


I like this, thought I understood it, but your reply to Lori threw me off a bit. Not that what you said doesn't make sense..it makes perfect sense.

My take on it was prompted by my hobby of reading old song lyrics. Woodie Guthrie came to mind.

I saw a hobo, years after the dust bowl, and the great depression...sitting on the side of the tracks, waiting for a freight to hop...killing time, reading a windblown newspaper.

I like the poem-both ways

"Poetry is an echo, asking a shadow to dance."
Carl Sandburg

Ticklefingers
Senior Member
Posts 710
Louisiana
7 posted 2016-01-26 06:54 PM


quote:
"Those "rusty railroads" will take no one any place ... and the newspaper of 1949 tells a poignant story"
You know Miss Margherita, I endeavor to write to be understood. I don't write things of any particular importance and I'm never going to go down as a revered poet. I like to use metaphors like most everyone.

True, sometimes one must look a little deeper if they want to 'get it' (whatever 'it' may be), but if they just skim over it lightly, then I'm the guy that "writes in circles" or the one who needs to "set them straight".

You on the other hand, have much more experience with many and varied traits of the human thinking apparatus and so you see what many could, but don't. It's always a great pleasure when you come to visit.

Your reply as I've quoted, is a simple, yet point blank accurate interpretation of a relatively easy little 3-line, 5-7-5 piece of poetry.


Many thanks to ice as well for looking further without beating the hell out of me.  
Pickin' & grinin' wouldn't be the same without Woody and Hank!


88's y'all



She told me "play one for your supper Danny and maybe you'll get breakfast".

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
8 posted 2016-01-30 08:39 PM


enjoyed reading this...james
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