Notes on the Fair Sex. - pipTalk Forums

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Cari
Member
Posts 411
Englnand

0 posted 2015-12-14 01:29 PM

“Sit down son, the time has come when you need advice on the more peculiar and devious aspects of the fairer sex”

First, know that there is logic, and there is female logic,
The two are not compatible.

Arguing with females is a complete waste of time; they will change horses quicker than a circus acrobat. On the very few occasions when they feel they are in danger of loosing the argument, they will resort to little sobs of tears or a waterfall of anguish, whichever they determine is appropriate. Game set and match.

You will note that females will forgive your shortcomings quite readily; this is an illusion, your little peccadilloes will be filed for further reference. An elephant’s capacity of recall compared with the fairer sex is not in the same league.

Non essential shopping for a male is a chore; for a female it is a voyage of discovery.

She greets you home wearing her prettiest dress.
Her welcoming kiss lingers longer than usual.
She serves up your favourite meal
and suggests an early night.

It could be your relationship has entered a more exciting phase.
But more likely the Mother in Law is due for the weekend”

Conversational Gambits.

“Is there anything wrong dear?”
“NO” always means YES.

“Do you think I’m putting on a little weight darling?”
This question along with others of the same ilk does not require the truth; they are a demand for reassurance.

“Oh what a perfectly lovely dress, isn’t it just wonderful? But far too expensive”
Consult your credit rating.

“Well that will do for the present, I will return to the subject at a later date”

Ok girls your turn.

ice
Member Elite

since 2003-05-17

Posts 3404
Pennsylvania

1 posted 2015-12-14 02:04 PM

I plead the fifth. Been married 50 years, and seen it all...but you left out a few things....lol

"Poetry is an echo, asking a shadow to dance."
Carl Sandburg

DaysofView
Member

since 2014-04-01

Posts 433
Just A Slice Of The Pie

2 posted 2015-12-14 02:10 PM

this i agree with, "Her welcoming kiss lingers longer than usual" but no more, its kinda pasty like prose more than a poem. Next?

It was just a thought which made them run. It was just an act that killed them.

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

3 posted 2015-12-14 07:01 PM

Ok, you tell them, but they will not believe you until they experience things on their own. And the most effective weapon of the fair sex remains "mystery" ... we can't be transparent, it would spoil all our strategies.

It was a fun read, cari.

Margherita

Mr Martini
Member
Posts 366
Beneath The Line

4 posted 2015-12-15 01:57 AM

Leave it to a man to take umbrage with an otherwise entertaining read, but I don't think acrobats change horses faster than a Pony Express rider did. They rarely are in a full gallop, if ever.

Enjoyed reading your poem Cari.

Here's to you and here's to me and should we ever disagree, here's to me!

Pete_W
Member
Posts 185
Scotland (UK)

5 posted 2015-12-15 08:18 PM

Reminds me of conversations with my friend when working his forge, made me smile, you left out the theory of "brownie points" tho

Thanks
Pete

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