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Open Poetry #49
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JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana

0 posted 2015-07-22 09:28 AM


the night is the corridor of history
no, not so much
history of legendary people
or grand events
more so it chronicles the insignificant
the overlooked
suppressed and unappreciated
this, then is the history
of vice, human error
disorder and fear
intoxication and the desire
for something better
but vainglory and delusion
are all that is found
in the nights of the long streets
the street
strips off any appearance
of growth
where the illusion of freedom
is only neon wilderness
in a city
which contains the accumulated
felonies of the past nights
that is not an illusion
the illusion is the daytime
the fantasy
which pretend to be the city
nighttime reveals
the pseudo of the daytime
to be a pantomime of safety and reality
the street at night
what has been hidden comes forth
everyone is subject to the
rules of chance
murderer and victim
both afraid
at night
everyone is naked

©July 16, 2015 / Jerry Pat Bolton


~*~ When they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~

© Copyright 2015 Jerry Pat Bolton - All Rights Reserved
Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
1 posted 2015-07-22 07:09 PM


This  poem is important. Your tone is different. It is more earthy and earnest. It was a little difficult for me to read as there was no punctuation etc.
I know you once said you weren't much for going back over a poem. I think this one is special and deserves extra time and attention. It is good as is, don't misunderstand me. Please don't pull it because I made a suggestion. ~L

JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
2 posted 2015-07-22 07:20 PM


Look back over my free style poems, Lori. I hardly ever use punctuation, even so there are a few commas here. No, I will leave it as it is and thank you for your thoughts on it.

~*~ When they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~

JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
3 posted 2015-07-22 09:10 PM


I may give it another look just because of you.

~*~ When they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
4 posted 2015-07-22 09:28 PM


nice reading...james
JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
5 posted 2015-07-22 09:37 PM


thanks james

~*~ When they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~

latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
6 posted 2015-07-23 04:15 AM


Jerry I wrote a rather long reply to this but I guess I did not hit send. I love the night and usually chose the late night shifts. I feel more alive at night. Love the softer sounds, even the distant train sounds are softer and more pleasant at night. The late night birds and  insects sounds all are all softer and sweeter than during the day. Enjoyed, jo
EmmaRose
Senior Member
since 2011-03-02
Posts 1376
Midwest
7 posted 2015-07-28 11:01 AM


Very cool poem
about the changing of the guard  and when
that guard is let down, anything goes
spooky and enchanting all at once

JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
8 posted 2015-07-28 11:27 AM


I, too, come more alive at night, Emma, thank you for reading and commenting on this effort of mine.

~*~ When they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~

jjote
Senior Member
since 2002-12-25
Posts 1088
Ontario, Canada
9 posted 2015-07-28 10:57 PM


"where the illusion of freedom
is only neon wilderness
in a city
which contains the accumulated
felonies of the past nights
that is not an illusion
the illusion is the daytime
the fantasy
which pretend to be the city
nighttime reveals
the pseudo of the daytime"

I have to read this more than once, for all the thoughts you wrote are so starkly striking and true..I only quote the above parts which cry out to me particularly. Non-punctuation doesn't bother me, actually I'd love to write with no such restrictions. Let the reader have free rein on your words.

JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
10 posted 2015-07-29 08:41 AM


I have written quite a few poems which either take place or are about my "two lost decades." Thank you jjote for reading and commenting

~*~ When they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~

CastleGuard
Senior Member
since 2003-04-30
Posts 760
Alberta, Canada
11 posted 2015-07-29 02:20 PM



As it is, Jerry, unfortunately...

the external darkness
reveals
the internal one...

CG


JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
12 posted 2015-07-29 02:26 PM


Unfortunately is the name of that game,CG . . . er . . . unfortunately. Thank you so much for being here.

~*~ When they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~

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