navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #49 » As Did I
Open Poetry #49
Post A Reply Post New Topic As Did I Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

0 posted 2015-03-09 11:24 AM



As Did I


and I loved her
till Death himself
asked forgiveness
for thinking her time
was near,

and all the Gods
of our ancestors
knelt in prayer
that her life
might be spared,

but it was not to be
and I watched
as her soul
slowly seeped
from her pores,

the glow
leaving her skin
sallow and pale
lifeless
in the end.

until Death
knelt by her side
and cried . . .


as did I.


© wesley james beard, jr.



NOTE: This, in actuality refers to the death of my grandmother, something I had been trying to address in writing since 1980.

jimmy


© Copyright 2015 Wesley James Beard, Jr. - All Rights Reserved
JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
1 posted 2015-03-09 01:07 PM


Heartbreaking realism, man. To have to stand and watch as breath leaves the body of a much loved one is agony untold. Impossible to relate the agony to another person.

~*~ When they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
2 posted 2015-03-09 03:31 PM


This is awsome Jimmy!!~L
RedStoneEB
Senior Member
since 2003-06-08
Posts 772
uk
3 posted 2015-03-10 10:27 AM


so sad and heartfelt, put into words, the hardest thing to do, apart from experiencing the feelings that they were written about.


latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
4 posted 2015-03-10 01:02 PM


Jim, as I read this I just knew it was for an older woman,perhaps your Mother as both she and your grandmother were precious I know I had you right. Very well written, Jo
latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
5 posted 2015-03-10 01:06 PM


Jim, as I read this I just knew it was for an older woman,perhaps your Mother as both she and your grandmother were precious I know I had you right. Very well written, Jo
LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

6 posted 2015-03-11 08:03 AM


Jimmy, well hello there, hope your doing well....this was gut wrenching, and yet, such a beautiful way of imortalizing our mothers, fathers, grandparents...enjoyed...
Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
7 posted 2015-03-19 09:14 PM


Jimmy,

I have been silenced by my Mom's death. I felt this to my bones.

A

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
8 posted 2015-03-21 03:56 PM


Some powerful images, superbly written. Time surely has brought about this fine piece.

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
9 posted 2015-03-21 05:49 PM


Okay, so I have found it hard not to get completely wrapped up in some of the things you write, Jimmy, because you always have that tag on them reminding us that they may not be real.  It gets hard sometimes to allow yourself to "feel" for something that's been labeled with a "do not feel" warning.  I point this out not as any type of criticism, but merely because I find it intriguing that this piece is the complete opposite here.

I love the way you have personified Death, actually having him moved to tears in this.  It exemplifies the actual "real" grief you obviously felt and passes it on to the reader in a very powerful way.  Nicely written.

Michael

jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
10 posted 2015-03-21 06:47 PM


Michael . . . most of what I write, with very few exceptions, is written around actual occurrences, though not all my own, personal, active experience, meaning I wasn't personally involved. But, basically, all of what I write is based on something, or someone's REAL experience.

I get subject matter from things in life around me, whether it be an obituary, wedding, seeing, hearing, talking with others, etc... meaning, I put into words what I think myself or others would feel in a set situation.

So the disclaimer is to quiet the many, many comments & questions from the caring about the state of my "personal" psyche, because I try to write emotion in a way that touches, and pulls one in to another's life.  Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

I started using the disclaimer attachment a couple years ago when I found myself too often having to answer or explain that something was "not about me". Also, I seldom say if something is from my own life experience. (Still covered by the disclaimer . . . lol).

I will always appreciate your read, comments and questions and hope this gives you a better idea of where I "come from". . .

All in all, as long as someone "enjoys" the read . . . I'm happy.

Jimmy


Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
11 posted 2015-03-21 11:21 PM


No worries, jimmy.  I always understood where the disclaimer came from, I just found it purely ironic that on this you stated the personal nature to it and while that opened to door for an emotional, supportive outreach I was inclined moreso to applaud the writing itself.  Made me feel awkward I suppose.  Anyhow, I love your writing and the fact that you can move me like you do emotionally is a testament in itself to how good it is.  Kudos friend.

Michael  

Richy
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050

12 posted 2015-03-22 01:00 PM



three brothers of mine passed away in three years..

I've still yet to come to terms

not sure if i ever will be able to

Thank you for sharing this Jimmy.. it reminded me of my own grandmother and how much i've missed her so..

bless the writers of the world.. they're little alarm clocks of vision and memoir


Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
13 posted 2015-03-25 11:22 PM


So sad, but wonderful tribute to a loved one,
Jimmy.
                           Ida

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
14 posted 2015-03-27 08:35 PM


fine writing...james
devina
Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539
Cali
15 posted 2015-04-17 05:57 PM


Simply GORGEOUS, even in pain.
had to read this twice
be well
~d

Open arms can be the most fragile in the world...



miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
16 posted 2015-04-17 10:43 PM


Jwesley,

   I am unable to adequately to express how your poem has touched me.   Of late, I've really missed my best friend, my husband,and tonight found myself crying.  Consolation comes from knowing he left in contentedness and strength.   Your poem makes me appreciate the kindness that Death paid him.

  I empathize with you over your grandmother's passing and understand how it take years to write what needs to be written.   Excellent writing!

misc

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
17 posted 2015-04-19 06:51 PM


This touched the very depths of me. Exquisite!
jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
18 posted 2015-04-21 09:00 AM


She was a beautiful person and I loved (still do) her very much as did all who met her.

Thank you all for the thoughts you've shared.


jimmy

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #49 » As Did I

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary