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Open Poetry #49
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Desolation Jane
| Open Poetry #49 |
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Desolation Jane |
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soul drifter Senior Member
since 2004-09-08
Posts 711Colorado |
Desolation Jane I saw you at perfect pale moonlight white like a tiger bearing it's teeth midnight eyes the color of river shale staring down the gentle falling of a leaf didn't I just hear a lilting voice say, "we seem to be lost on the way of dividing the night from the day" I captured the lazy light and devoted my wanderings for your reign off I stalked like a ghost into the night haunting the deserted caverns of pain didn't I just see a mockingbird cry, "sometimes I don't even know why the sunset diver always has to die" Rain carving it's reflective trail down a windshield until insane oh, rain I'm left always wondering how do you feel time and time again Desolation Jane You defined the shape of soul and pieced me back together with glue strong as a diamond made from coal shining like that's all it knows how to do didn't we cover the waterfront, saying, "this is the way love is supposed to feel, please tell me this is really real" Rain washing away a town too weak to stand all this pain oh, rain I'm left always holding on to sand Desolation Jane, slipping away through my fingertips once again rain, rain and could I ever truly understand your heart's beginning to wane Desolation Jane I saw you at perfect pale sunlight bright like the sting of a honey bee twilight smile underline where I fell staring down into an aching soul in need didn't I just hear the warning bell scream "when the nightmare envelops the dream, the fire is raging but you can't feel a thing." And so it rains enough to carve it's reflective trail into my bones and into my veins oh, rain, rain I'm left always wondering how do you feel time and time again and how could I ever truly understand your heart that always sets me aflame Desolation Jane Separation Jane Dislocated Jane we seem to be lost on the way of dividing the night from the day oh no Jane I saw you at perfect pale... "He turns his money into light to look for her" - U2, 'Lemon' |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
It's a ballad.... It needs a few tweaks for a true ballad...but I saw a movie in here...or, well, I saw the song to a movie. This is good...it has meat to it...it is not so scarce as to be bare bones...it is raw and wonderful. Thank you! |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Sunshine said it. This is a very good piece of poetical work. Post more. ~*~ When they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~ |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
good writing...james |
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