Through my Mother's Eyes (xmas poem)

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redwriter1
Member

since 1999-07-22

Posts 480
Franklin, TN

0 posted 2014-12-17 10:49 PM

****written when I was 15, my first actual finished piece of anything, but I still like it, tell me if you think I should make it into a song).. thanks

Through my mother's eyes were seen the days
of Christmas's gone by
When all her children came in haste
to gather by her side

No tree this year my little ones
she would apologize
Though we all hoped it wasn't true
Your mother doesn't lie

Through my mother's eyes was see a tree
with Christmas lights so bright
But it would need a little help
to make it look just right

It's not much, she said, but it will do
We'll have a Christmas tree
And it will be the best of all
You just wait and see

It was oddly shaped and very small
but beautiful indeed
Even thought our Christmas tree
was just a tumble weed

Though time went by and years between
I still recall the sighs
When we all saw a Christmas tree
Through my mother's eyes.

Kay-lynn
"When you help someone across the river, you get there yourself"

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

1 posted 2014-12-18 08:40 AM

I'm sure with a little rearranging of the lyrics it would turn out to be a very good country song.

~*~ When politicians give up on liberty, it falls to poets to preserve it. Or write its epitaph. ~*~

latearrival
Member Ascendant

since 2003-03-21

Posts 5499
Florida

2 posted 2014-12-18 11:43 AM

Yes agree with Jerry.A small change in a few lines.Best to you, JO Perry
"Through my mother's eyes was see a tree"
might be changed a bit

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

3 posted 2014-12-18 07:09 PM

Yes, lovely. I agree with Jo...there needs to be a little tweaking. Maybe "seen" instead of "see".

I like the memories.

redwriter1
Member

since 1999-07-22

Posts 480
Franklin, TN

4 posted 2014-12-18 08:21 PM

"see" was a typo. my apologies

Kay-lynn
"When you help someone across the river, you get there yourself"

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

5 posted 2014-12-20 04:15 PM

It's very lovely the way it is. Beautiful and also poignant memory.

Love,
Margherita

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California

6 posted 2014-12-25 03:13 PM

Touching poem, redwriter1.
Ida

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

7 posted 2014-12-26 07:57 AM

Mothers teach their children to "see" many things. The tumble weed is a good example.

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