Been Awhile Since I Could . . . Breathe

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jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

0 posted 2014-12-03 12:39 PM

Been Awhile Since I Could . . . Breathe

Been a while since I've sat
in a cemetery,
on the ground,
beneath a tree, or

on a head stone,
my heels kicking
the name behind them
begging the body deeply down
to leave me alone . . .

or come back.

I can't do this anymore.
I can't love the hurt.
I can't hold the pain
as if it wasn't there.

I can't touch, or kiss,
or feel –

anything but the cold
of the stone,
my heels kicking the name
behind them
as if I could make the body,
deeply down, two years gone,
know the void deep inside

of me.

I know the sun is rising
over there,
silhouetting that cross
rising from the ground,
its burst of yellow rays,
like God saying Hello . . .

but it's not His voice I want to hear,
or His face I want to see,
it's not His name I'm kicking,
it's not His recognition I want –

Been a while since I've sat
in a cemetery
begging the body deeply down
to leave me alone . . .

leave me alone . . .
or come back.

Come back.

Been a while . . .
since I could breathe

your name.

© wesley james beard, jr.
december 2, 2014

Please don't assume everything I write is based on my personal life

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

1 posted 2014-12-03 06:26 AM

You write so good Jimmy we all naturally assume it is about you. Thanks for the disclaimer at the bottom of the page. You really strum the ole heartstrings with this one my friend.

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

2 posted 2014-12-03 08:32 AM

A bit morbid, Jimmy, but the writing is top notch . . .

If they give you ruled paper write sideways.

latearrival
Member Ascendant

since 2003-03-21

Posts 5499
Florida

3 posted 2014-12-03 10:05 AM

Jimmy,you nailed it for some who must really carry such deep hurt and grief and are unable to let it go. Great piece of writing, work ,Jo

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

4 posted 2014-12-03 10:50 PM

Oh jw, your sentiments may not be personal, but they are real.

Your poem is heavy hearted, sadly beautiful, and deeply felt.

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

5 posted 2014-12-06 02:15 PM

Dear Jimmy, you certainly speak in a poignant way to the heart of many who mourn a loved one. Very sad and yet a tough reality for those who loved deeply and are left "behind" without being able to enjoy life anymore, though it goes on, it goes on!

Margherita

EmmaRose
Senior Member

since 2011-03-02

Posts 1376
Midwest

6 posted 2014-12-07 01:59 PM

you hit that solar plexis for me, for any who mourn and can't let go
good solid gold

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

7 posted 2014-12-07 04:19 PM

Jimmy, Margherita said it best. I am feeling your words today.(hugs) M

[This message has been edited by nakdthoughts (12-08-2014 08:08 PM).]

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